Category: Family

NYC

April 17, 2012 · Leave a comment ·

Do you remember when your kids were babies and you wondered if you were going to be able to go anywhere of substance again? Would you ever be able to enjoy an activity that wasn’t brightly colored or littered with oversized characters? I’m here to tell you that yes, you can.

Fish and I took a day trip to New city York recently and had a blast! We were part of a larger group, that split up, so it was just the two of us loose in The Big Apple for nine hours. She originally wanted to go to Ripley’s Believe it Or Not Odditorium. I said fine but also made some suggestions including Madam Tussauds Wax Museum, A boat tour, 30 Rock, the Empire State Building, The Sony Wonder Technology Lab, and the Intrepid Sea, Air & Space Museum. Ultimately, it came down to a choice between the Intrepid and The Wonderlab. We didn’t jump on the WonderLab earlier enough to guarantee tickets. Fish was actually relieved because she’d had a hard time making up her mind.

I really wanted to use public transportation where possible. We live in an area with ZERO public transportation. It is possible my children will have enough vision to drive, but driving for the visually impaired varies by individual, by the state they live in and by road conditions. My kids might choose a field or land a job that requires them to live in a state where they won’t qualify for a license. I’d hate for them to turn down an amazing opportunity simply because they can’t drive. I want them to understand that especially in a major city, public transit is viable option.

Half the Adventure is in the getting there

The bus departed at 6am and arrived in New York at 11. I had a little trouble getting my bearings, but we were never more than a block or two off course. Turns out despite my heartfelt appreciate of public transportation, my skills are a bit rusty.

We missed the first bus because we were on the wrong side of the intersection. We missed the second bus because while I had the exact fare, they don’t accept paper money on busses, only Metro cards or coins. We acquired the necessary metro cards, but when we asked the driver of the third bus to announce the 12th Avenue stop, he smirked and said we were headed the wrong way. Ooops! Stupid ordinal directions! The fourth bus was the charm. We laughed our way through the entire adventure. “You’re never going to live this down, you know that right?” my daughter smiled an evil grin at me.

The Intrepid was fun. This kid LOVES museums. She is endlessly curious and museums provide a buffet for her brain. We prowled through the Growler a cold war submarine and then explored the aircraft carrier Intrepid from stem to stern. She got a kick out of the sleeping quarters for the enlisted men and loved looking at all the planes on the flight deck.

With only minimal confusion, we made our way back to Times Square and grabbed an early, quick dinner. After which she announced that she wanted to ride the subway and we should find a destination that would require a subway ride. We decided Rockefeller Center met the criteria. When we got there, the line to the Top of the Rock was too long for the allotted time we had left. She rolled with it. We stopped at Starbucks and headed back to the subway for a return trip to Times Square.

This was our first day trip to a new destination that was just she and I. I have no desire to be my daughter’s BFF, but this trip felt more like two friends exploring rather than Mom chaperoning a field trip. I don’t want to brag, but this is my blog, so I guess I can. I was so pleased that she shunned the shopping frenzy that gripped some of the girls. We had a few minutes before our final meeting, so we ducked into Toys R Us and she appreciated the display of Annoying Orange merchandise, and the ginormous Pig from Angry Birds, her only observation was to marvel at the bloated prices. “I bet that’s cheaper at home or even on Amazon.” Times Square was markedly more crowded in the early evening but Fish was a good sport about staying near me and my occasional need to hold her arm or steer her by the shoulders. It was a long day (almost 22 hours door to door), but she kept it together and we made some awesome memories.

There are so many places I’ve seen and want to share with my kids and new places I want to explore with them. I’m super excited that my daughter is growing up to be a delightful travel companion.

Got a Case Manager?

April 11, 2012 · 1 Comment ·

My mother’s health has been described as a house of cards. She’s older and much to her frustration, her health is failing. She’s a three-time cancer survivor and she still lives alone. Her medical care is delivered via a senior health practice affiliated with a prestigious hospital. Reputations be damned, good medical care comes down to good people caring about what they do.

It is not too much of a stretch to say that the only reason my mother is alive and able to live on her own is because of Anna. Anna is a Case Manager with my mother’s doctor’s office. Until recently, I thought every good sized geriatric medical practice had at least one case manager on staff. Turns out, Anna is a rarity in more ways than one.

Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do without Anna. My mother lives about an hour and a half from me. It’s almost all highway driving, but three hours round trip plus time to visit means my trips are infrequent. I do my best, but I’m an only child with a husband and two children, so my plate is pretty full.

My mother sees so many specialists, one needs a score card to keep track of her appointments and medicines. Thankfully, Anna keeps score. She is an experienced nurse with excellent communication skills and an inability to accept no for an answer.

The other advantage of having an Anna on the team? There is an unbiased, third party to mediate disagreements (No Mom, you cannot leave the hospital against medical advice). Anna is one part humanitarian and one part drill sergeant. My mother is a fiercely proud and independent woman which Anna respects, but Anna doesn’t take any baloney from anyone.

Anna is also a wealth of knowledge when it comes to social service agencies and Medicaid/Medicare rules and regulations. She acts as an advocate on my mother’s behalf when my mother can’t and I can’t be there to do it myself. She knows my mother well and can share successful approaches with medical professionals that make caring for her easier, thus making my mother more comfortable and the treatment more expedient and effective.

Not everyone needs the breadth of Anna’s expertise. Some have spouses or family who can manage many of the details, but when it comes down to coordinating treatment. EVERYBODY needs an Anna. She has a knack for cutting through the red tape and insuring that everyone is on the same page. She’s fluent in medical speak and can translate and interpret even the most convoluted doctor’s report. She answers questions that I might not otherwise ask lest I waste a doctor’s time. She explains in plain english what is happening, why it is happening and what outcome is expected.

I am familiar with case managers working as part of cancer treatment centers and after this experience, working with a case manager in geriatric health, I encourage everyone when evaluating medical practices, to ask if they employ a case manager. Having an Anna in your life can lessen the stress of being ill or caring for a loved one with chronic illness or failing health.

May you all find an Anna in your life when you need someone to help you negotiate the challenges of the medical system.

Thank you Anna for all you do.

New Glasses

April 4, 2012 · Leave a comment ·

Both kids needed new glasses this year. They both have a bi-focal and both use Transition Lenses so the glasses can double as sun glasses. I always guide them towards the tallest frame possible to give them as much coverage as possible. This is not an easy feat with today’s fashions. I miss the old owl eyes of the ’80’s! A-man got glasses for the first time since he was a kid. He hates having his picture taken, but I managed to snap a shot. I will refrain from posting it because 15 years of marriage have taught me a few things :).

12

April 2, 2012 · 4 Comments ·

Dear Squishy Fish,

You are twelve.

You are at that stage where you are balancing maturity with childhood and you are doing it fantastically well. Me? Meh, not so much. Your transition from elementary school to middle school was very smooth. You are finding out what friendship is really about and choosing friends with good character.

In the fall, you texted me asking if you could join the math team. Has a parent (especially one as math impaired as I am) EVER refused to let a child join the math team? I texted back saying we’d talk when you got home. One of my funnier memories is our exchange about this.

You: Mom can I join the math team?

Me: Hmm, I don’t know, it sounds kind of dangerous to me.

You: Huh?

Me: I mean what if someone messes up their quadric equation and it explodes? Ugh, what a mess. Variables everywhere. You could get hurt.

You: Mommmmmm!

I held you off a few months, but you followed your brother’s footsteps, and took up karate. Your poise and precision is amazing. Your instructors all comment positively and frequently cite you as an example. Skiing continues to be one of your favorite activities and you enjoy skiing with the Hs and helping them heard their cats as the seven of you traverse the slopes. You’ve worn contact lenses for about a year and handled the responsibility with ease.

As mature as you are, you don’t hesitate to grab my hand and make me skip through a parking lot with you. Nicki, Jess and Emily are frequent companions as you while away the hours in your room, figuring out how this world works and what exactly you want your place in it to be. Thankfully you still seek me out for some snuggle time before bed

Your little brother can drive you absolutely mad, but you make time to play the Wii with him or the two of you venture into the land of make believe. He still worships the ground you walk on and you are one of his biggest fans.

The year hasn’t been without conflict. You made mistakes, but so have I. I’m not sure that will ever change. I want the best for you. I joke that you, must, stop, growing, and some days, I wish it was true. I feel like I need another twelve years just to catch up with you. Yet, I know that’s not how it works. It is your job to grow and move into your own life. It is mine to remember you are not me and support you as you find out who you are and what you want.

Happy Last-year-before-being-a-teenager. Make it a good one!

Love,

Mom

High Tech Hide and Seek

March 30, 2012 · Leave a comment ·

Fall Family Fun - My husband two kids and our dog make their way down a fire road. — Fall Family Fun

The story goes like this; my husband and I got lost walking in our own backyard, so my in-laws bought my husband a hand held GPS for his birthday. While standing in line to pay for said GPS, my mother-in-law spied a book on Geocaching, the book was an impulse buy that launched us on an addictive family activity.

Fish holds a medium sized container cache filled with trinkets and a log book. — A container cache

Never heard of geocaching? Oh, are YOU missing out. Geocaching is a high tech treasure hunting game. “Cachers” hide small containers in various locations and post the GPS coordinates (and a hint or two) on a web site geocaching.com. You can search geocaching.com by address, zip code or by state. There are over 5,000 caches in New Hampshire alone. There are 5 within a 1-mile radius of our home and over 400 within a 10-mile radius.

A cache hidden between some rocks in an old rock wall. — Hidden in plain sight (sort of)

Caches are rated by how difficult they are to find, and the difficulty of the terrain where the cache is located.There is usually a hint included as well (encrypted for those who want the an additional challenge). There are caches everywhere and some of the descriptions and hints can be kind of funny. Like the one in Boston that said “when you reach underneath the bridge for the box, make sure you don’t grab the rat trap”. Icons included in the description, will also note whether the site is handicapped accessible, stroller and or pet friendly.

When you choose a cache you want to find, you download the coordinates to your GPS unit. It is worth noting that may of the newer units meant for cars, can also be used for geocaching. That said, a hand held unit is more rugged and easier to carry.

GPS, in hand, you make your way to the specified location and try to locate the cache. Keep in mind that consumer GPS units are typically only accurate within a few feet of a given location, so there is definitely some searching skills involved. In my opinion, that’s half the fun. Caches can be of various sizes, our first find was a military ammunition box. Others have been camouflaged Tupperware and even peanut containers. Some caches are location caches where the originator wants you to see a great view or even a monument you may have walked by a thousand times.

Inside container caches there is a log book that you sign to confirm your find. More importantly for my kids, there are small “trinkets” to be traded. If you take something, you are supposed to leave something. Parents this is a phenomenal way to get rid of all those fast food toys.

Mim reaches for an empty plastic water bottle while I hold a trash bag. — Cache-In-Trash-Out (I carry trash bags and hand wipes)

The majority of caches are on public land, if one is on private property, it can only be placed with the owner’s consent and that fact will be noted in the description. As a rule cachers try to be respectful, though there have been some caches that have been viewed as suspicious and investigated by police. Cachers also try to leave things better than they found them, the saying goes “Cache in, Trash Out” and we’ve collected a few trash bags of littler on our adventures.

After you find the cache, you return to the web site, log your find online and leave a comment or a photo about the find.

I love geocaching because it gets us out and moving as a family and it stokes my kids’ sense of adventure and curiosity. At the same time, it gives them opportunities to practice problem-solving skills and be good environmental citizens. Most importantly, we have found locations that we otherwise might not have found. The first day we were out, we found a series of walking trails 2 miles from our house that I had no idea even existed.

In New Hampshire, there are several active caching communities that frequently place new caches and maintain existing caches. The Concord group even meet informally on a regular basis. Information on the events, called event caches, can be found on the geocaching web site.

Membership to geocaching.com is free, but a premium membership ($30 per year) supports the site and gets you added benefits like a listing of geocaches that can be found along a specified route. Also a few rare caches are available only to premium members.

Me in a neon orange LL bean ball cap. — Our last trip was during deer season. Like my snazzy hat?

For what it is worth, we didn’t really get LOST lost, in our backyard. We just couldn’t turn around and follow the path from which we came. We ended up making our way to the nearest road and came out about a mile from our house leaving us to walk back the long way. That said, I’m glad it happened as that one journey has launched many more

Award Winning Socks

March 26, 2012 · 2 Comments ·

A nasty sinus infection sidelined me last week. I don’t do sick well. While I catch up, enjoy this picture of AWARD WINNING SOCKS.

Mim’s school held a sock hop last week and there was to be prizes for the best socks in each grade. Mim had the idea to make cleats. A pair of socks, electrical tape, sharpies, some stickers, a little help from mom and shazam! He won a $5 giftcard to Books-a-Million (BAM!). He was very proud.

I

March 14, 2012 · 1 Comment ·

Right after Christmas, I put a white board wall decal up at the top of the stairs. I mostly intended it to be a place to jot quick notes. Nothing of any substance per say, but just a fun place for all of us to doodle.

After I got everyone off to school this morning, I hurried to get ready for an appointment. As I was getting ready to head out, this stopped me in my tracks. It made me smile and get a little teary.

<img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-1693" title="3 u Dad" src="https://livefearlesslee.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/3-u-Dad.jpg" alt="A white board with I The kids went to Disney with their Grandparents and we went to New Orleans. We had a little over 24 hours together as a family of four and then A-man was off to a conference in Las Vegas for a week. The kids and I had a good week, but this says it all :).

Got Milk? Get Cookies!

February 23, 2012 · Leave a comment ·

3, 103 cases of Girl Scout Cookies

12 boxes per case

37, 236 boxes

2 trucks

20 volunteers

4 hours

That’s a LOT of cookies!

The 2012 Girl Scout Cookie Sale is in progress. With the annual cookie sale, girls have an opportunity to improve their financial literacy while raising funds for troop activities and community service projects.

Parenting in A Social Media World Part 1

February 15, 2012 · 1 Comment ·

This video was making the rounds on Facebook last week. I shared it to my wall without comment. I wasn’t really sure what to say. Watch it, then we’ll talk more.

So I have mixed feelings. First off, I suspect as with any story, there is more to this than meets the eye. I’m not going to pass judgement on this guy one way or the other. When I see examples of how others parent typically I try and learn from their experiences. Would I do this? Probably not. Are there days when my kids frustrate me beyond a breaking point? Um, yeah welcome to parenthood. Have I done or said things that I’ve later thought better of? Most definitely. Would I have wasted a perfectly good laptop? No. I would have wiped it clean and donated it to a charity.

The father’s name is Tommy Jordan and his Facebook wall is public. It is worth going to see the follow up and fall out from the video going viral. He’s been visited by the police and Child Protective Services, major news outlets have contacted him and he’s being impersonated on Facebook and across the Internet.

This update is taken from his Facebook page, but I was unable to find it. Stupid timeline!

His take

I’m NOT a hero… of ANY kind… at all.

I’m not a super-dad, or awesome parent.

I’m a normal guy with reasonable a moral compass that I try very hard to keep pointed north. I make a LOT of mistakes. Did I say a LOT? I mean a WHOLE lot! Daily… sometimes hourly!

and later

You guys caught me on eight and a half minutes of ONE day in my life, probably the worst day in my life as a father.

To me, that is the rub. We caught nothing but a snippet of his life, an eight and half minute glimpse. A commentator on my wall suggested he might be in it for the publicity. We’ll never know for sure, but that’s not the vibe I get. He does have a book on cloud computing, but there is only minimal mention of it in his most recent posts. He does however raise funds for the local Muscular Dystrophy of America Chapter and since the video going viral he’s raised close to $5,000.

I love this comment:

“PS: CBS just called and offered us our own show. The ceiling of absurdity has just been reached.”

What has our society come to? Let’s review shall we? We have a 15 year old girl who pushes her boundaries. We have a father at his wits end who in a moment of frustration takes extreme action against an inanimate object (albeit an expensive one), video tapes the violence video tapes the violence and posts it YouTube.

Suddenly, the video is everywhere and this event is “news”. The man is at turns vilified and called a hero. He is, by many, raised up on a pedestal. He refuses the promotion to deity and calls bullshit on all the attention and uses the spotlight to raise money for a good cause. There are worse ways to use your fifteen minutes of fame.

When the dust settles they go on with their lives (since he declined the whole T.V. show thing). The ultimate question is did his daughter learn anything from the experience? Someone with a far more analytical mind than mind will have a ball with this once the dust settles.

What do you think of the whole thing? Have you ever done anything like this? Would you?

Live Fearless Lee

Or at least that's what I tell myself