Category: One of my many opinons

Junk Food Junkie

· Leave a comment ·

My mother’s grandmother, Nana Nally, lived with her family and cared for her and her siblings while her mother (my grandmother) made her way as one of the first working mothers.

Nana Nally was an Irish immigrant and made homemade bread for the family a few times a week. Store bought bread was a rarity and a treat according to my mother.

My how far we’ve come.

This week, my children’s elementary school sent home a letter announcing new procedures regarding food for classroom celebrations. I had heard through the parent grape vine that the change was coming, but I wanted to wait for the letter to try and understand the specifics.

They are now asking that parents/guardians to contribute a small, voluntary financial donation towards the purchase of celebratory items. The teachers will now be responsible for procuring party items etc.

The reasons cited for the change are:
safety measures for students with food allergies,
proportional food offerings,
greater ease with preparation of the celebration for teachers.

What about this policy is easier on teachers? Most classrooms have at least 1 parent chomping at the bit to be involved in the classroom in some way. Coordinating food for a celebration is a perfect use for a parent. This new policy now demands more of a teacher’s time outside of school hours to shop for the food. It also shifts liability from the parent providing the food to the school.

According to Mr. Principal, the teachers find managing food for parties to be a challenge. I know for a fact this is not a universally true. However, If an individual teacher prefers to manage the classroom celebration, I think they should be allowed to do so. I seek out specific teaching styles for my children to best suit their educational needs and I think teachers should be given the option to run their classrooms as they see fit. In my opinion making this a unilateral, unfunded procedure is wrong and disrespectful to those teachers who welcome parent involvement. Kids need to learn that life is not consistent. Teachers, like future bosses have different working styles and it is crucial that children develop the skills to adapt to their environment.

As someone who deals with food allergies, (both mine and my husband’s) on a regular basis, that argument holds no merit with me. I read labels like some people read best sellers. NOTHNG goes in my cart without prior careful scrutiny. Have you read some of the things in prepared food from the grocery store? Even something as straight forward and “healthy” as a veggie platter with dip can have substances in it I can’t pronounce and that my husband can’t eat. Trust me, store bought doesn’t automatically make it better.

Whenever I coordinate food for parties, my first question is are there any known allergies in the classroom and we’ve had a few along the way. I’ve communicated the issue to the parents bringing food and we’ve never had a problem. We are fortunate that we have a scant few kids in the school with allergies, and I am painfully aware of how dangerous even a whiff of peanuts can be to some kids, but I view food allergies as an opportunity to educate students and parents alike. This is part of teaching tolerance for difference. Sometimes, you have to forego something you like for the benefit and safety of others. Food allergies exist in the real world and everyone needs to adapt.

When discussing proportional offerings, the subject of childhood obesity came up and how teachers must model good behavior. I agree that obesity is an issue in this country and in our school, BUT, we also must be wary of other eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia. I’m not a believer in the abstinence works mentality. It is crucial that we not demonize food one way or the other. I think it is far better to model balance and self control. These celebrations are rare occurrences that happen 3, maybe 4 times a year? Children need to learn balance and personal responsibility. The message should be junk food is okay once in a while as a special treat, but it must be balanced with healthy food.

During my exchange with Mr. Principal he stated that it was his hope to eventually eliminate all food based celebrations (i.e. birthdays etc.). I sincerely hope it never comes to that. I would much rather have my kid eat a cupcake with partially hydrogenated oils once, than play with a lead laced little toy purchased from the dollar store for days on end.

I have debated this issue at length with Mr. Principal and we have finally decided to agree to respectfully disagree. He is known to be a brick wall and that school runs his way, or no way. It is a policy that works well with respect to discipline, but I think it fails with respect to this issue.

I plan to express my concerns at the district level (and told Mr. Principle this). I’ve already accepted that this policy will not change, but my hope is to stem the tide of insanity.

Excuse me while I go eat a Ring Ding and some Ho Ho’s for lunch.

Cold Medicines and Babbling Pinballs

· Leave a comment ·

Have you read Malcolm Gladwell’s Tipping Point? No? You should, it is really fascinating. In it he talks about different types of people. I fall into the connector category. If I come across information I think is useful, I feel compelled to share it. Sometimes this is a good thing and sometimes I should probably MYOB. I hope this is one of those times when the info I have is helpful.

You’ve heard of Sudaphed right? The ubiquitous little red tables that dry out your runny nose. The main ingredient in the original Sudaphed was psuedophedrine. Sadly, it is also one of the key ingredients in crystal meth. So, awhile back the FDA, ordered retailers to remove products with pseudophedrine from publicly accessible shelves.

Big Pharma knew that we, the American consumer, were not a particularly motivated group and that standing in lines was not one of our favorite pastimes, so they reformulated many of their cold products eliminating psuedophedrine and in my rarely humble opinion, rendered them as useful as sugar pills.

What most people don’t know is that you can still get many of the original formulations, but you have to ask a pharmacist for them AND provide a photo ID and signature for tracking purposes. Thank you thank you almighty pharmacist (or more likely a pharmacy technician) for providing me the one thing that actually provides me relief from my common cold symptoms.

Now, about the same time the FDA pulled psuedophedrine products from the shelves, the powers that be (I believe it was the FDA and the American Academy of Pediatrics), also instituted new regulations banning most multi-symptom cold formulas for children. The AAP said they didn’t work anyway. Really? How many of them have hung on to their sanity by a thread with a congested and miserable 1 year old only to be saved by Pedicare? I have friends who SWORE by Triaminic. Hey, they worked for us!

I spoke at length about this change with my children’s pediatrician and she said the biggest problem was that most parents were overdosing their children. Once again, a few dorks who can’t read labels ruin it for the rest of us. Grrrr. We talked about psudophedrine. She said that yes, it was safe for my kids (who were 8 and almost 4 at the time) and she gave me the doses. She did warn me that some people don’t react well to psudophedrine. This is a fact of which I was well aware. My husband cannot take decongestants as they increase is heartbeat and give him the shakes.

This is all leading somewhere I promise.

We are fortunate. Truly, the kids don’t get sick much, and I’m not one to offer medicine at the drop of hat. However, by the time my son had his 4th cold settled into is ears and developed into raging ear infection I was ready for something, ANYTHING to stop the insanity. I talked to my pharmacist (not the tech) and she agreed to order me a bottle of liquid psuedophedrine. Whoo Hooo! Yay! Amen, Hallelujah and Praise Be . . . aaaaaannnnnnnndddddd then the colds and ear infections stopped.

This is the first cold either of them have had in a long time. I was determined that this time I was going to keep the goop out of his ears. Yes he’s older and he’s grown significantly, but I wasn’t taking ANY chances. That said, I was a little wary of what his reaction to psuedophedrine might be, so I held out the first few days. I gave him Benadryl (also doctor recommended), and that dried up his nose some, plus had the added benefit of making him a tad drowsy. Today we tried the psuedophedrine. The first dose was effective and he seemed fine. About 5 hours later we gave him a second dose. ZING, PING, POP, ohmygawdhaveyouMETmysonthebabblingpinball??????????? He’s an energetic kid to begin with, but now he was just off the charts. At dinner, my husband said “you could never give him this and send him to school.” Well, I could, but I really LIKE his kindergarten teacher. The directions say every 4-6 hours. I supposed if I’m desperate, I might try it again, and spread the doses out even farther, but I’m thinking we’ll stick with Benadryl.

My daughter on the other had as been find on psuedophedrine (she can take the tablets). It has worked well for her. Just another way that they are COMPLETE opposites. So, if your family is suffering with runny noses, consider standing in line and getting some psuedophedrine, just keep an eye out for babbling pinballs.

Please note, I’m not a doctor, nor do I play one of TV (10 points to anyone who gets THAT reference), I am simply sharing my experiences with a product that I like and have purchased with my own money. You should talk to your doctor and pharmacist before starting any new medications.

Don’t Gimmie No Lines and Keep Your Germs to Yourself

· 1 Comment ·

The stories are everywhere; you can’t open a paper (for those of us that still read them) or turn on the radio without hearing the words flu or H1N1 mentioned. The topic is all over Facebook and Twitter as people lament their illness, or that of their kids and spouses.

The flu is serious business, it can be deadly for some populations, but arguably, for most people, it is just uncomfortable and inconvenient. Yet as Americans, we take any kind of illness personally, it is like some sign of weakness to admit that you weren’t able to fight off a stupid little virus. So, rather than doing the smart thing and staying home and keeping the germs to ourselves, we put on our superhero capes (or martyr robes depending on your perspective) and soldier on, runny noses, scratchy throats, hacky coughs and all.

Sick days to the working person are like those plastic decorations on a cake. They look good in an employment offer, but you aren’t really supposed to consume them. Some companies even reward employees who DON’T use sick days. This means that super Joe or Jane comes to work spewing germs thus infecting poor Mary or Marty who doesn’t have the strongest immune system and ends up taking sick time. Joe or Jane gets a reward at Mary or Marty’s expense.

The age-old argument is “I don’t have TIME to be sick”. Really? Why is it that doctors say the best remedy for colds is rest and fluids? If you’d stay home when you are first sick, I bet you’d find you feel better faster than if you barrel on like a locomotive infecting everyone for miles.

Don’t even get me started on parents who send sick kids to school. In most cases, I don’t blame the parent as much as I do the parent’s employer. When I was volunteering in my daughter’s second grade classroom, I overheard J, an obviously sick child tell the teacher she couldn’t go to the nurse because her mom would lose her job if she left work to care for J. What is a teacher supposed to do with that?????

My kids inspired this post. Both are home today. I kept the younger one home yesterday because he was a veritable faucet of mucus and is not good at blowing his nose, remembering to cover his mouth when he sneezes or coughs, or washing his hands. Germs are the only things he is good at sharing. He’s 5, I am optimistic this will change. He didn’t have a fever and spent most of the day be-bopping around the house.

The older one also had a runny nose yesterday and the beginnings of a cough, but since she is better at containing her germs and she BEGGED (really!) to go to school. I sent her. I send decongestant with her and when she visited the nurse yesterday, for a regular dose, she complained of a scratchy throat, so the nurse took her temperature it was 100.3. So, home she came. Both kids are still spewing liquid today, but both are better. Still, they are home. Don’t misunderstand me; I’m no saint in this game. I’ve sent my kids into the fray plenty of times when they weren’t 100%, but never when I knowingly thought they were seriously ill.

I’m not really sure what the answer is. Employers complain, that sick time costs money and lost productivity, but I think they are being incredibly short sighted. If they’d allow employees the time to stay home and get well, I think they’d find that that productivity would increase because when employees ARE on the job, they would be well and focused on their work rather than ill and jonesing for that next cold medicine fix.

I work for myself, so I have fairly liberal sick time policies. How about you? What kind of sick time policies does your company have? Can you work from home when you are sick? Are you at risk of losing your job if your kids get sick?

Albinism Featured on 20/20 on ABC

· Leave a comment ·

I have albinism, a genetic condition that causes a lack of pigment in the skin, hair and eyes. This means I have very fair skin, bright blonde hair and blue eyes (blue, NOT red). Oh, an far from perfect vision. When I say “I have albinism.”, some people look at me funny. When I say “most people are more familiar with the word Albino.” Often a light bulb goes off. “Oh, I went to school with an albino.” Or, “My husband’s, sister’s, brother-in-law’s daughter is albino.” Many in the albinism community recoil at being called an albino. It doesn’t phase me so much, but that is a post for another day.

For me, albinism is an inconvenience. It is a pain slathering on layers of sunscreen, wearing a hat everywear and wearing sunglasses even on a cloudy day. BUT, at least I have sunscreen to protect my skin from skin cancer, I have contact lenses and glasses that help me see well enough to drive. I do not have the ultra rare kind of albinism that comes with medical complications. Nor, do I fear for my life every time I leave my house.

Since 2007, at least 53 (probably more) people with albinism living in Eastern Africa have been violently murdered for their body parts. The victims are tortured and killed by violent means as folklore often requires the killer to drink the blood of their victim to ward off dangerous spirits. The corpse is then hacked to pieces and sold to witch doctors for use in potions and salves.

I’m sorry, to be graphic, but the story is THAT disturbing.

According to ABC News, the story was broken by a BBC reporter who went undercover to try and expose the heinous crimes. It has been slow in starting, but there is a movement a foot lead by several non profit organizations including NOAH, Under the Same Sun, and Positive Exposure to shine a spotlight on these atrocities and force the governments to hold those responsible for these crimes accountable for their actions.

For more than a year NOAH has been working with ABC news on a story about albinism. The final product will air tonight on the ABC News show 20/20. There are stories of Americans with albinism, but most of the show is devoted to the crisis in Tanzania. There are preview clips here. From what I can gather this show is NOT suitable for a family audience.

I’m a little uneasy about the content of the show. For the most part, albinism is a rare and misunderstood condition. The lack of vision presents a real problem, but most of the challenges arise from our society’s intolerance of difference. I’m glad the situation in Tanzania is getting some attention. People with albinism there live a life very different from mine in so many ways. I hope that while they highlight the challenges that people with albinism face, they also show that people with albinism are not doomed to a life of suffering (at least not in the U.S.).

If course the irony of a segment about people with a visual impairment on a show called 20/20 isn’t lost on me.

Tune in an let me know what you think.

Insuring We Never Forget

· Leave a comment ·

http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2009/09/11/schools_grapple_with_how_to_teach_911/ I read this article this morning and I could only shake my head in agreement.

Mim was not even 18 months old on September 11, 2001. She has no recollection of the fear, the panic and the tears that surrounded that time. We were fortunate not to lose anyone in the attacks, but we were directly impacted by the events of 9/11. We lived just outside of Boston, the origin of two of the planes. We heard the jets overhead in the hours that followed and in the days that followed, my husband’s company would be adversely affected as a result of the attacks.

I wrote a detailed journal entry for her that night, but I’m not sure she’s old enough to completely process what happened. She’s an anxious kid and she stews on things, chews on them and ponders every angle of a situation. She worries. She’ll want to know about all the the dead, how they died and what happened to the families they left behind. Details, she’ll want the details.

Make no mistake, I want her to have this information. I want her to know the villains who committed the heinous act and more importantly, know and remember the heros “who died, just doin’ what they do”. The challenge is knowing what to say and how to present it in a way that makes it real, but not overly threatening.

The topic came up at dinner recently. A-man, said something and the questions started coming rapid fire. We weren’t prepared and her little brother was right beside her. The age difference added yet another layer to the discussion. I think we did ok, but out of respect to those who died, and lost so much, we both want to do better.

What have you said to your children?

Alcoholism Blinds Us All

· Leave a comment ·

I wrote this a few weeks ago, but didn’t post it because it seemed out of date by the time I completed it. Then yesterday, I read this by DaMomma, and this by One Crafty Mother. Since they brought it up again, I thought I’d post my two cents.

First, I want to offer sincerest condolences to the Bastardi, the Hames, the Longo, and the Schuler families. I cannot begin to imagine the hell you are living through right now.

For those who may have missed it there was a fatal crash on the Taconic Parkway in New York on July 27, 2009. The fact that everyone agrees on are that Diane Schuler was driving home from a weekend camping trip in her minivan with her two-year-old daughter, five-year-old son and three nieces aged nine, seven and five. She was traveling northbound in the southbound lanes of the Taconic Parkway when she crashed head on into a SUV carrying Michael Bastardi, his father Guy Bastardi, and long time family friend Daniel Longo. Both cars burst into flames killing everyone but Schuler’s five-year-old son.

Diane Schuler’s autopsy results would later show a blood alcohol level of .19, more than double the legal limit. Her husband, Daniel Schuler denies his wife was an alcoholic. The family’s attorney claims the crash was caused by an undiagnosed medical condition.

I believe that Daniel Schuler didn’t know his wife had a drinking problem, but that doesn’t mean Diane Schuyler was not an alcoholic. In fact, it lends more credibility to the idea that she did indeed have addiction issues.

The burning questions everyone has are how did this happen? And, why would a mother knowingly put children she loved at risk? The answers are neither explanatory nor comforting.

When an event occurs that is this catastrophic everyone wants someone to blame, blaming a disease does not provide the reward we seek. This must be someone’s fault. Still, alcoholism is a disease and alcoholics are slaves to their master. An active alcoholic can lie and rationalize away the problem in ways that the average person would find inconceivable and completely illogical.

An alcoholic does not have a problem everyone else does. An alcoholic can look you straight in the eye and tell you that white is black and to them this is not a lie because they actually believe white is black. And, for the life of them, they can’t understand why you can’t see the truth. An alcoholic can be so convincing and the signs of trouble so subtle, that those around them start to question their own sanity. You start to think ‘oh, it must be me, I’ll try harder’. You don’t realize you aren’t living “normal” until a) something catastrophic happens or b) someone not so close to the situation asks “What the hell is going on here?”

I speak from personal experience with an active alcoholic who lives in denial, but sadly I have found too many others with friends or family members with addiction issues share my experiences.

In a perfect world Daniel Schuler would have known his wife had a drinking problem. In a perfect world he would’ve gotten her help, or at the very least he wouldn’t have let her drive. But, in the real world, he had no clue. Diane Schuler is the only responsible party. She paid the ultimate price and yet it still isn’t enough.

If you even THINK someone close to you has an issue with addiction of any type, get help, help for you, help for them. No doubt if you broach the subject with the addicted individual, you will be rebuffed (sometimes harshly), but there are numerous free support groups (e.g. Al-anon and Alcoholics Anonymous), that provide information and support. You can also share your concerns with your loved one’s doctor. They can’t talk to you without permission, but you are free to share background and experiences. Ask your own doctor for a referral to a counselor experienced in dealing with families of addicts. Make no mistake addiction not only impacts the addict, those closest, be they friends or family are affected as well. You don’t have to live this way.

So long and thanks for the memories

· Leave a comment ·

Today is the last day of summer program for my kids. The program is an offshoot of the preschool they both attended, and since Mim starts kindergarten next week, this is goodbye. My kids have both flourished in this environment so it is hard to say goodbye to such a supportive group of people.

I was fortunate to only need part-time childcare. The truth is with a little shuffling I wouldn’t have needed day care at all, but I firmly believe that my kids and I are both better for the time they spent at in this program.

This post from Julie at The Mom Slant rang true with me on many fronts, but I especially like this quote

” . . . Print and broadcast media have taken up this viewpoint for years – that day care is harmful to children – citing sensational stories and studies to back them up. Even the most tenuous evidence is used to play upon mothers’ fears that they are doing their children a disservice that will have long-lasting consequences.

Such views offend me deeply – not because I’m fearful or guilty, but because I have deep and sincere appreciation for child care providers. I hate that people unintentionally belittle the work they do while simultaneously belittling the parents who employ them.”

People who work with children don’t do it for the money. Those who are good, do it because they love the work. Ms. Amy, the program director came up the hard way. Today, she holds a masters degree and teaches college courses in addition to overseeing the curriculum and operations of the school. She believes in the value of early childhood education and the importance of staff development and it shows in the high staff retention rate. Many of the staff have been there the entire six years my kids have been there and some even longer.

The staff was not only good to my kids, but they were solid resource for me. How can I ease the transition to being a big sister? How do I explain death to a preschooler? How do I potty train a stubborn boy? How can I support my daughter as she deals with queen bees and cliques? How can I help my son battle the wiggles? They were ready with suggestions based on experience with my kids. I know that they will still be just an e-mail away but I will miss the reassurance of having unbiased input on my kids from multiple people.

I’m excited for my son, he’s absolutely ready for kindergarten and he has a great teacher. He will do well at the elementary school. This is just the first of many new beginnings for him and the last of early childhood for me. We are now solidly entrenched in the school age years. ONWARD!!

The Un-Friendly Bathrooms

· Leave a comment ·

My kids love Friendly’s Restaurants.  From a kid’s perspective, what’s not to love about a place where dessert is all but guaranteed with your meal? When given a choice, as a reward for a special honor, Friendly’s always tops their list.  That is, until recently.


Our local Friendly’s has gone green and installed an Xlerator hand dryer. If you haven’t experienced one of these babies, put on your ear plugs and prepare for lift off! Basically, you wash your hands with soap and warm water and then put them under a fire hose of air.


Fish isn’t so keen on public bathrooms to begin with but because of her pea sized bladder, she tolerates them.  Add an automatic toilet or one of these wall mounted leaf blowers to the mix and the experience becomes down right intolerable. Mim has only been potty trained for the last 9 months or so, and in that time, we have visited just about every public bathroom in our home town and the surrounding villages.  He’s not really picky, but even he balked at the Xlerator.


I get the point.  Paper towels are costly and they are not green. I hate conventional hand dryers because they take so long to dry your hands. And let’s not even talk about the water on the door handle left by those too impatient to rub their hands together.  The Xlerator eliminates those problems.  Place your hands underneath that puppy and WHOOOSH, water begone (along with any loose finger nails or jewelry).  It is quick but HOLY ROCKETSHIPS BATMAN IS IT LOUD!


Memo to Exel, (the manufacturer of the Xlerator), hand dryers are typically installed in bathrooms, places with lots of hard surfaces and the acoustics of . . . well, a bathroom.  The sound of these suckers reverberates off ever piece of tile and porcelain until the cacophony is almost unbearable, especially to little ears.


At least in the newer models, the proximity sensor that triggers the blast of air is on the bottom instead of the front.  Once in an airport, I almost suffered from premature urination (e.g. I almost peed mah pants) when, with a full bladder,  I mistakenly walked too close to one and it let forth its holy wrath of air.


Seriously as an adult, I can suck it up for the 15-30 seconds it takes to dry my hands with one of these blowhards, but I really don’t think they are appropriate for a restaurant where the majority of the guests are under 4 feet tall.


Circuit City is Dead, Long Live Circuit City!

· Leave a comment ·

Have you heard the news? Electronics retailer Circuit City is closing over 500 stores in the U.S. Best Buy stockholders are pleased for a multitude of reasons not the least of which is their stocks increased $2.20 after the announcement.

In our local shopping mecca, Circuit City and Best Buy are directly across the street from each other. Even though Best Buy was right next door to Target (another one of my favorite shopping haunts), I would always make the trek across the street for one simple reason. Circuit City employees understood customer service. Circuit City employees were typically on the younger side but knowledgeable and friendly. When I was in the market for a digital camera. I did a lot of reading online, but still needed to experience my prospective purchase live and in person. I was clear with the salesperson helping me that I would not be purchasing the camera that day. That day I learned a lot about my choices and narrowed my selections to two cameras. I went home counted my pennies and made my final decision. I shopped online, but ultimately went back to Circuit City (even though they weren’t the lowest price, close, but not THE lowest).

Once I needed an obscure battery for an aging cordless phone system. I flagged an employee as I entered the store and asked him to point me in the general direction of batteries. He walked me to the department, and located the battery I needed while I bounced my 8-month old on my hip. I was thrilled not to have to crawl around and scour labels to find the write one. I actually completed the customer service survey on the transaction.

I will admit I was dismayed at the announcement in 2007 that Circuit City was laying off senior sales people. They could reapply for their jobs, but at a lower rate of pay. I debated taking my business elsewhere and I know many who did. Ultimately, I reviewed my options locally and I talked to several employees in our local store who said that particular store was not impacted by that policy. I kept shopping Circuit City.

My experiences at Best Buy have been less than stellar. Best Buy tends to employ young kids who may be knowledgeable about the products, but they are awful at customer service. I purchased a remote car starter for my husband for Christmas one year and it was nothing short of a nightmare experience. I wasn’t that educated about product options, but knew the features I wanted and what kind of vehicle it would be installed in. Not only did the sales guy sell me the wrong model for my husband’s truck, the product line I purchased was missing a key feature I had requested, but I didn’t find out until after the installation. Oh, and don’t even get me started on the installation process!

I’ll admit that I didn’t exactly do my part to boost Circuit City’s chances of survival. We would like to purchase a flat panel TV. Before Christmas, we stopped into Circuit City and evaluated our options. We even picked out a model, but ultimately decided to delay the purchase given the state of the economy.

I feel like a vulture, but I’ll admit I’ll probably stop in during the store closing sales that are slated to begin as early as today in some stores. That way I can put off any trips to Best Buy for as long as possible. Maybe Best Buy will pick up a few of the local Circuit City employees. I can only hope.