Category: One of my many opinons

Education – The Foundation for Everything Else

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New Classroomphoto © 2005 Bart Everson | more info (via: Wylio)

I live with a six year old boy. He is constantly pondering this world we live in. “What if cars could fly?” What if? “What if dogs had two heads?” What if? “What if we ate breakfast for dinner and dinner for breakfast?” What if?

After all the kerfluffle in the New Hampshire media about educational funding (HB39, the push to repeal Kindergarten etc.) I have a “what if” of my own.

What if, we stopped treating education as the red-headed step-child and instead made it the Queen? What if we actually poured money into the educational system rather than targeting it for cuts at every turn?

I have my theories about the outcome of such wild ideas. If our system of education was fully funded, class sizes would be smaller and children would get more individualized attention. Students would truly be able to learn at their own pace. Children with mental or developmental challenges could be identified early and their issues addressed through additional support or services. This would give them the tools they need to feel successful early on thus building confidence as they make their way through school.

In New Hampshire, the legislature wants to shift control of funding and curriculum away from the state and into the hands of local districts. While local control sounds great (let US decide what our kids are taught BOOYAH!) From a big picture perspective this idea has disaster written all over it. It all comes down to money. We don’t have an income or sales tax here, so the majority of our revenue is raised via property taxes. There are a number of communities throughout the state with little or no commercial tax base.Their funds are raised almost exclusively from fees and property taxes. No one EVER wants to pay higher property taxes, so funding for the basics (albeit necessities) like roads and schools is very hard to come by.

By keeping the control of the curriculum at the state level, you insure that funding for schools can only be cut so far. I understand the frustration of the “unfunded mandate”, but on this issue, I err on the side of insuring the availability of a good education for all.

Education leads to a skilled work force and innovation both of which are critical to building a strong economy. A strong economy typically means a lower crime rate which means fewer people are incarcerated which means less taxes. A strong economy means lower unemployment. Lower unemployment leads to less welfare. Less welfare leads to lower taxes. Lower taxes leads to more discretionary income.

If we want to break the cycle, we have to insure that every child gets a solid education. A good education costs money, but in my opinion it is money well spent. I’d rather pay for the positive of education than the negative of incarceration or long-term welfare.

A letter to my daughter on choosing a mate

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Dear Fish,

Mother and sonphoto © 2010 Quinn Dombrowski | more info (via: Wylio)Eventually (you know when you are like 30), you are going to want to find someone to be your heart’s desire. I have a few things you should consider when looking for your forever guy. Well actually, I have one thing to consider when looking for your forever guy. Watch how he treats his mother.

Is he dismissive of her?

Do they bicker constantly?

Does he make fun of her in a mean way behind her back?

Does he whine and complain about what she DOESN’T do for him?

Does he DREAD spending time with her?

Is he clueless about her likes, dislikes and dreams?

If the answers are yes, unless there is some sort of major issue, (i.e. mental illness, abuse or alcoholism), RUN, don’t walk away from this man.

On the other hand . . .

Is he respectful?

Does he offer help when she needs it?

Does he do things for her without being asked?

Does he talk to her because he wants to not because he feels obligated to?

Does he jerk her chain just to keep things real?

Does he buy things he think she’d like when they cross his path? I don’t mean for Christmas or birthdays (although he’s thoughtful and generous then) I mean if she says she’s running out of fertilizer and he’s at Big Orange, does he pick up a bag for her?

Is he supportive of the things she does? Showing up charity fundraiser she’s planned, helping her in the garden because it is her passion?

Pink Princess Crown Cupcakephoto © 2009 Clever Cupcakes | more info (via: Wylio)In my experience, the number one indicator for how a man will treat his wife, is how he treats his mother (or the most prominent older female in his life). If he treats her like a queen, he will treat his wife like a queen. If he treats his mother like a second class citizen, he there is a high probability he will treat his wife the same way.

Who you choose as a husband is ultimately up to you, but ask yourself, do you want to be a queen or a wench?

If you are lucky, you’ll find someone like your Daddy, and someday, you’ll graduate from Princess to Queen of your own kingdom.

But, um that doesn’t have to be for a VERY VERY long time ok?

Love,
Mommy

My Infertility Story Part II – Cliché

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This post is part two of a follow up to an earlier post I wrote about at Self Magazine article on how isolating infertility can be. You may also want to read part one.  I was blessed to have a circle of friends who had experienced similar situations. NO ONE should feel alone in the infertility process. Part Threes will be the story of another woman who didn’t have that support.

Clichephoto © 2010 Tom Newby | more info (via: Wylio)We survived round one, and were rewarded with a beautiful, happy healthy daughter. Fast forward two and a half years. I was ready for a second child. My husband was happy with one, but willing to discuss making a sibling. I am an only child. I always wanted a sibling. I wanted my daughter to have someone to gang up on me with. We decided we’d try for a second, but as with the last time, there were limits to how much medical intervention we’d tolerate. In other words, no IUI or IVF for us.

About the same time, my husband managed to convince me that it would be a good idea to pack up everything we own, put it in storage and move in with his mom and her husband. We bought land from them to build a house and make a new life an hour and a half North of my support system. Stress + new doctors + limited privacy does not a pregnancy make.

I was still making frequent trips South for business commitments and to be with friends. During that time, we were actively trying with no success. My cycles felt as though they were random. I opted to switch my care to a practice nearer to our new home. I thought it would be easier to manage the daily ultra sounds without the hour and a half commute. Ultimately, the new doctor did confirm a clinical diagnosis of PCOS. We had a cause, but still no baby.

During this time, the other two women I’d been pregnant with the first time both conceived again. I was happy for them and they were both very gracious about sharing my pain at their news, but inside, I was frustrated and horribly jealous.

I was on Clomid for a total of 9 months without success and I was at the end of my rope. We had just moved into our new house and I was ready for a new beginning. My husband supported my decision to stop infertility treatments. I stopped taking Clomid. I gave up the mini-van in favor of a smaller car and I accepted a several work commitments and a major volunteer commitment.

The doctor wanted to try and get my cycles on track again. I refused birth control pills so he prescribed progesterone. The prescription said take once a day for the first ten days of the month. Since I hadn’t had a period in a almost two months, I thought he meant calendar month (as a way to be able to keep my dates straight). Turns out he meant cycle month. DUH. I was told to take a pregnancy test and when it came back negative to start taking the medication.

My husband left for work early in the morning. So I dragged my butt out of bed and peed on the stick. I hadn’t even turned the light on, but after I washed my hands, I picked up the test and thought I saw two lines in the faint morning light. I turned the light on and looked again. Oh My God, this can’t be real. I ran downstairs and said “Don’t leave!” and then flew back up stairs grabbing my glasses and a magnifying glass (you can’t be too sure about these things you know).

Son of a gun, there WERE two lines. As he walked into the bathroom I said, “I’m pregnant, is that ok?” He hugged me, laughed at me and said “It’s a little late for that isn’t it.” I had become a cliché. I stopped trying and got pregnant. It was hard to let go, but once I really let go, my dysfunctional body, to over.

Later that day, I called the OB practice and asked for a blood test to confirm the results. I was told that blood tests weren’t standard procedure. I explained that I was an infertility patient and that I wanted an HCG count. I wanted to insure that there was just one. It took some persuasion, in the form of my going and sitting in the waiting room until someone talked with me, and offering to pay for the blood test out of pocket if my insurance didn’t cover it (it did), but I finally got confirmation that there was only one fetus. Nine months later, Mim was born and our lives are all the richer for his presence.

Even with the distance, my circle of friends was crucial to my survival during the move, the trying and the subsequent pregnancy. I am confident we wouldn’t have had Mim if they hadn’t been around to cheer me on and pick me up. No one should have to go through infertility alone. Online support groups have grown in popularity since then and even face-to-face groups are being offered by infertility practices. If you are pursuing infertility treatments, please seek out a support network. I could mean faster, results.

(School)Photographs and Memories

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I wrote about my school picture experiences and now it is time to discuss my kids’ school photos. As I mentioned in that post, the job of school photographer is not high on my list of dream jobs. School photographers are asked to capture photos of as many kids as possible, in as little time as possible, for as little money as possible. Not ideal conditions for creativity or high quality. Fortunately, I know this going it so I am not surprised by the results. Still, I’ve come to appreciate school pictures for what they are, a time capsule. They capture my kids where they are at this particular place and time.

I am the opposite of my mother, I DON’T fuss about what the kids wear. Trust me this makes for some interesting attire, but hey, that is an area where I can give them complete control. This policy holds true even on picture day. Fish had her picture day outfit picked out AS we were shopping for back to school clothes. Mim is more of a fly by the seat of his pants kind of kid. I was very curious to see what he would pick and pleasantly surprised with his selection

What I see when I look at her picture, is a girl who is growing up and beginning to explore her place in the world. She’s done a great job maintaing her pierced ears Now, she’s growing her bangs out, and experimenting with hairstyles. She told me about pulling all her hair to one side (oh, the memories) and I think it makes her look more mature. She’s working to find her footing. She can be shy and reluctant to stand up for herself, and in her face, I see that tentativeness (am I doing this right?), but I also see earnestness and her easy smile. Her rigid posture tells me she still wants to please and follow directions (she never sits that straight on her own) but at the same time, I do see a bit of a desire for independence. I suspect this has more do with her clothing selection.

What I see when I look at his picture, is my wiggly little boy. A boy who struggles to follow directions. Sometimes he doesn’t follow because he wants to do his own thing, sometimes (as I’m betting is the case here), he doesn’t follow because he is so excited he doesn’t stop to listen to the words that have been said. I’m sure the photographer told him to sit up straight and put his shoulders back. All he heard was shoulders, the result is the shrugged position. I love the orange striped polo, it is from Land’s End. We bought it on sale ($5 FTW!). He picked it out and while it isn’t my preference, it reflects him well. He is LOUD and vivd.

Probably the worst thing you can tell a kid is to “say cheese”, the resulting smile is usually something like what we have here. My Internet friend Firemom, taught me that asking them to say “boogers and cookies” or some other farcical quip typically generates a giggle and thus a more natural smile. But, I like his smile here because it shows he still has all his baby teeth. He talks a good game (his vocabulary would knock your socks off), but his maturity doesn’t always match his speech.

Once a year, I pick out their clothes and we go to the Target Portrait Studio. There, a photographer with only slightly more time poses them and talks with them and snaps away. I’ve recently started letting each of them bring an additional piece of clothing and an item to pose with. These are the pictures I hang on my walls.

Soon, I will find an independent, professional photographer and invite him or her into our life for an hour or two to capture where we are as individuals and as a family. In the meat time, I’ll look at the pictures I have and appreciate them for what they tell me.

The original version of this post had digital copies of the pictures included.  Then I remembered this post by Heather Sphor. I downloaded the plug-in she suggested, but found (at least on her site), that I was still able to save photos to my hard drive. I’ve posted pictures of my kids here before, but before I go whole hog on this post, I need to consider things a little more. I also need to run some more tests on the plug-in.

You are what you eat

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Fresh Milk in a glass bottle, a chocolate syrup free of HFCS and other delights.I’ve been pondering eating less processed, locally grown food for a long time.  I’ve been reading a little here and there and taking micro steps to purchase food that is made closer to home.  The recent salmonella outbreak at Iowa egg farms really pushed the issue front and center for me.

It started when my husband was diagnosed with migraines and I discovered one of his triggers is Maltodextrin a sugar additive found in numerous dips mix, gravies, and seasoning packets. Once I started reading labels, I was overwhelmed by words I could not pronounce. I really started to wonder whether those were things I wanted to be putting in my body or the bodies of my husband and children. Ever since, I have been making an effort to eliminate processed foods from our diets a little at a time.  I’ve discovered food that is fresh and free of chemical sweeteners simply tastes better.

I stopped buying beef and pork from the grocery store years ago. Now I purchase my steaks and pork chops from a local butcher.  Per pound, it is a little more expensive, but the meat is well trimmed and they package the meat in quantities that will feed my family with only a little left over, so there is little waste.  There is most definitely a taste difference.

I’ve virtually eliminated convenience foods and replaced them with my own incarnations. I started making my own crunchy coating for my pork chops and chicken parts (something akin to Shake N’ Bake ®). Dips are made from greek yogurt and spices.

I have a bread maker and am striving to bake more bread at home. I haven’t made as much progress in this area as I would like and frankly, the bigger problem there is my picky kids. I’ve yet to find a white bread recipe that my son will take to school as a PB&J sandwich.  Once I conquer that, THEN I’ll work towards whole grain breads.

My most recent discovery is locally sourced milk, delivered right to my door in glass bottles.  We got our first delivery last Friday and I finally broke in to the good stuff this morning.  The fresh skim milk tastes like the 1% store bought. Yummmm!

My other recent discovery has been Trader Joe’s I am loving the fact that when I pick up an item to read the ingredients most of the time I recognize everything on the label. I also find that their prices fit within my budget. The downside is that the nearest Trader Joe’s is 45 minutes away (Hey Trader Joe’s Please come to New Hampshire!), so I have to make it stop on other scheduled trips to that area.

Buying locally takes more time and costs more money. I do not have a wide-open schedule or a money tree, but I have found with just a little bit of planning, I can make this work for our family.

Were you to open my cabinets, you would still see foods that contain preservatives and high-fructose corn syrup, it is like a said, baby steps. I’m not sure I’ll be able to eliminate ALL processed foods from our diets. We are like most American families, we lead an active life and time is a premium. I think it is about striking a balance and ideally I’d like the scales to tip in favor of fresh healthy food.

How about you? Do you have any foods that you will only buy from local sources?

Let’s talk about infertility

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Child holding a Megaphone
Image Credit Hebedesigns

I recently read this article in Self Magazine. . According to the article 1 in 8 couples will be affected by some type of infertility. That statistic doesn’t really surprise me, it seems everytime I turnaround, I bump into someone who has or is struggling with fertility. The article goes on to state that 61% of women seeking infertility treatment do not share their struggles with friends and family. Really? People don’t talk about infertility? I would not have survived infertility, my marriage would not have survived infertility, if I hadn’t talked about it.

She talks about infertility, so does she.  I talk about it and in light of this article, I will blog my story soon.

I remember the pain and frustration as I waited for my body to do what it was supposed to do naturally. As you are going through it, infertility is stressful which doesn’t help matters any. But, in hindsight, I can say infertility is biology, and failure to conceive is not a character flaw. I did not choose this, I refused to feel ashamed.

The couple in the Self story took extensive measures to hide their infertility treatments. They went so far as to rent an apartment in New York City (closer to their doctor) and when their deception almost came to light, they were forced to concoct outrageous stories about surviving last winter’s blizzard in Washington D.C. even though they weren’t there. Wow! Infertility is hard enough without adding layers of lies that you have to keep track of. I’m not judging them. I feel sadness for them that they felt had to go to such an extremes.

I was fortunate to have a supportive husband and family and a great group of friends (many of whom were touched by infertility in one way or another). I was also fortunate to have conceived two children. Not everyone is as successful.

Like other women’s issues before it (rape, breast cancer), infertility needs to be dragged into the spotlight. So that IVF and Clomid become as understood as chemo and radiation.

As the article highlights, if infertility treatment is successful, the result is new parents (sometimes of multiples). I speak from experience when I say new parents barely have time to shower never mind rallying the troops. If the treatments are not successful, the feelings of devastation, loss and depression can force a person to withdraw completely from the topic. I understand and respect both perspectives. My kids keep me busy, so I can’t jump out and lead the charger either. Still, I wouldn’t wish infertility on anyone and I can do my small part to spread the word.

I’ll share my stories soon. If you have a fertility story you’d like to share or know someone willing to be profiled, please leave a comment here and I’ll follow up with you privately.

Here are two resources I found helpful when I was dealing with infertility.

Resolve a support group for couples dealing with infertility.

Dr. Alice Domar is a well known specialist focused on the mind/body connection and women’s health issues, specifically infertility.  I’ve met her and heard her speak severa times. She is a passionate and delightful woman. I also highly recommend her books.

ETA

My infertility story part 1 and part 2.

Photo credit Hebedesigns

Sorry

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There were many sites I wanted to see during our stay in Washington, D.C. this summer. I knew there was too much for us to tackle in one trip, but I was committed to visiting the Pentagon Memorial to those who gave their lives on September 11, 2001.

As we walked from the Metro station to the site of the memorial, my husband endeavored to explain the significance of what we would be seeing to Mim. We’ve had lengthy discussions with Fish about the events of that day and their significance, but had yet to broach the subject with Mim directly.

My husband was educated to be an elementary school teacher. It is definitely the public schools’ loss that he never made it into a classroom of his own. He is a wonderful teacher and he has a great way with kids. As I listened to him explain the crash in terms my son could comprehend, I got watery eyed. In part, it was the ease with which he clearly translated the happenings and in part it was the memory of what happened.

As is his way, Mim quickly followed his father’s explanation with a question. “Did they have to say they were sorry?” A perfect question from a wiggly little boy struggling to learn the rules of this world. It made me smile.

I suppose the immediate answer is yes, we demanded an apology, and thousands of “them” and “us” died pursing “Sorry”.

To the families of those who died that day and the soldiers who gave their lives in the battles that followed. “Sorry” will never be enough.

To all those who lost so much that day I wish you peace.

To the men and women of the military and our public safety personnel and their families, I offer my heartfelt thanks for all that you sacrifice to ensure our safety and our freedoms.

September 11, 2001, we will NEVER forget.

Let Kids be Kids

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When I was a kid, I was very active. There was Girl Scouts and I played softball for a while then soccer. When I moved on to middle school, I tried intramural gymnastics and synchronized swimming, chrous, band and drama. In high school I was in marching band, the stage crew and I had a part time job. Life was busy that’s for sure.

Today the atmosphere of kids activities feels different. There is a pressure that in my opinion makes both kids and parents crazy. Today, it feels as though kids are being forced to pick a focus at a younger and younger age. The intramural programs where the intent is to offer exposure and build skills is targeted at the four to six year old set. Today competitive programs that are aimed to prepare kids for long term success start at about seven or eight depending on the activity.

Until recently, Fish was taking a recreational gymnastics class. Once she decided that gymnastics was no longer for her she was on the hunt for a new activity. Fish was born with gills. She loves to swim and loves the water (thus, her nickname). She wanted to look at swim team. The only local program is offered by the YMCA. I asked for the program details while there for Mim’s swimming lessons.

Whoa! I was handed a twenty page packet outlining the responsibilities and requirements. Keep in mind that this program accepts children as young as 6.

Requirements:

Full Y annual membership (in our case$126 based on her age).

Program registration fee $175 for 10 weeks.

Practice three times a week for 1 hour.

Our school day ends half an hour later than the district the Y primarily serves, so to make practice on time, I’d have to pick Fish up at school and rush into town. Not to mention, the need to entertain her brother for the hour and half it would take her to practice and dress (his level of swim class isn’t offered at the same time). We wouldn’t be home until at least 6 pm with homework, dinner, and showers to cram into the next 2 – 3 hours. I hate most mushy food, so crock pot meals are out and A-man doesn’t get home until 6-6:15, most nights, so he wouldn’t be able to get things started.

That’s just during the week, during the spring “off season”. I read ahead to the schedule for the fall and winter when anywhere from one to three weekends are taken up (at least partially) by meets. Meets are all over the region and parents are expected to provide transportation AND onsite support for the meets.

I felt overwhelmed just reading the paperwork. Fish is ten with a wonderful imagination and a need for down time each day. We are family of four. My husband works at a distance and over the next few months will be working on the completion of a big project. That means, an unpredictable schedule and an increased chance of late nights. Thus all the home management falls to me. I’m ok with that, BUT I also recognize that I’m human and I can’t do it all.

I love my daughter, but the truth is I don’t think she’s the next Olympic Gold Medal swimmer and even if she is, that level of competitive success takes dedication her parents don’t possess. Does that make me a bad mother? I don’t think so but still, the thougths nag at me. Mostly along the lines of “everyone else is doing it”. One mom says “Soccer season has started, so weeknights from 2 to 8, I’m either at the field or driving there, yet another family talks about four nights a week of baseball practices and two games on Saturdays.

I listen to these other parents who drive their kids hither and yon and I think “Good for them, but I don’t want that for our family”. As much as I believe in supporting my children’s dreams, I think it is important for them to understand that they are part of a family. They matter, they are important, but the world does not revolve around them. I have a say how my time is spent as well. If I worked full time outside of our home, things would be a whole lot more hectic, but A-man and I have made different choices for ourselves and our family. Our choices may not be yours and I can’t say that they come guilt free because they don’t but they are well thought out and we stand by them.

So, I said no. No to the craziness and yes to a childhood for her and her brother. I know as she ages the commitments will get bigger, and I’ll cross those bridges as we come to them, but this was too much, too soon for her and for our family.

I don’t mean to criticize any one else’s choices and frankly as the kids get older, our choices will likely change. Who knows, maybe I will need to befriend the crock pot. But right now? I just want a little more calm than chaos for my family.

Fish took it well and we are still searching for and enrichment activity that interests her without overtaking all of our lives.

Rosie, the Roomba

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I HATE to clean. It is a rare bird who likes to clean, but most people tolerate it and actually make an effort to do it regularly. Many people are bothered by dust bunnies, or sand crunching under foot. Me? I was born with the innate ability to completely ignore filth. It is only when the dust bunnies stand up and growl that I am moved to action.

A picture of my really dirty rug
I can't believe I'm showing you this.

Stop dialing the Health department, I’m not THAT bad, but I really don’t like to clean.

iRobot was a sponsor of Blissdom ‘10 so last month, I had the chance to see a Roomba in action. I’ve heard of Roomba before and I’ll be honest, I didn’t really think it worked. I don’t know why I thought that. It’s not like I’d heard people complain about their Roombas, it just struck me as a gadget, one that was too good to be true. You have to understand, we are a family of 4 blondes, plus a cat and until very recently a long a haired collie. It’s a contest to see who sheds more, us or the pets. My couches are the color of faded jeans and young and naive, I thought dark blue area rugs with plaid borders would look make my decore look like jeans and a flannel shirt. They weren’t on the floor 5 minutes when I recognized I had doomed myself to daily vaccuuming or grayish rugs. Guess which one won?

The ladies at the iRobot Booth told me there was a Roomba just for me the Roomba 562 Pet Series

I told A-man about my encounter with Roomba and the about the 20% discount iRobot was offering to Blissdom attendees. I planned to look online for consumer feedback, then honesstly, I got lost in the post conference catch-up and forgot all about it.

He did not.

About 10 days later, Scott, my UPS guy brought me a box from iRobot and made me promise to tell him how I liked it.

Rosie the Robot from the JetsonsI LOVE THE ROOMBA!!

Let me say that again, I LOVE THE ROOMBA.

I named her Rosie.

I am a believer. My blue rugs? They look blue, not gray. We live on a dirt road and our driveway is also dirt. Take shoes off or leave them on, it really doesn’t matter, there is dirt all through the house. Rosie takes care of it. When the she encounters dirt, a blue light comes on and she spins in circles until she has collected the offending substance. Let’s just say Rosie’s blue light is almost always on in my house.

Before and After

I shouldn’t tell you this, but she spent at least an hour just under our bed the first time she cleaned our room. That’s the cat’s domain. I guess it had been awhile since I’d gotten under there!

You simply set Rosie on the floor and press the button that says CLEAN and leave her to her duties. She even does a little cheer before she gets started. Girlfriend likes her job! Depending on the size of the room and the level of dirt, she may stop and take a break and ask you to empty her dust collection bin and clean her brushes. In our house that takes a little work (remember all that hair?), but Rosie came with tools that make cleaning her brushes quick and easy. Return the brushes to their home, press clean and Rosie is off and running.

She even leaves vaccuum lines!!

You can schedule when she runs (so you could do it while you are out) and she comes with two virtual walls, so you can limit her focus to a specific space. When all is said and done, she returns to her base to recharge issuing another little cheer. I guess like any busy woman, she’s happy to collapse into bed at the end of the a productive day.

She’s quieter than my canister vacuum, but she is a little loud for constant background noise if say, you were on the phone. Rosie the Roomba is round, so corners aren’t her strength, but she gets darned close. She even fits under the toe kicks under my kitchen cabinets. She also doesn’t do stairs, but she’ll collect the pile of of dirt, I push to the bottom using a Swifter. Having Rosie doesn’t completely eliminate the need for a competent human to operate a full sized vacuum once in a while, but it sure does extend the time between uses of said vacuum.

It’s a gadget, yes, but it is a gadget that works! Oh, and don’t discount the entertainment factor.

iRobot was a sponsor of Blissdom ‘10 a fantastic blogging conference I attended last month. I am writing this post to share with you my opinions, and to thank iRobot for their sponsorship of such an awesome event.  As a recovering event planner, I understand the importance and value of sponsors to an event’s success. That said. Everything stated here is my own personal opinion and was in no way requested or influenced by iRobot.

The Sing Off

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I love a cappella music. I dated a guy in college with an amazing bass voice who introduced me to the genre. There is just something about the harmonies of the human voice that rocks my socks. When I heard a segment about the show “The Sing Off” on NBC, on the radio, I literally dropped everything and ran for the Tivo® remote

I was richly rewarded. In case you were wrapped up in the holiday frenzy and missed it, the Sing Off was the latest iteration of judged musical performance shows. NBC selected 8 a capella groups from around the country to compete for $100,000 and a Sony Music recording contract.

The groups were very diverse in age, race and background. Some were college groups, one was a group of young adults from Omaha and one was a group of middle aged moms from Baltimore, Maryland. The judges were Shawn Stockman from Boyz II Men, Nicole Sherzinger from the Pussycat Dolls and Ben Folds.

The performances on this show were just amazing. The judges were reasonable with the exception of Sherzinger. Every time she opened her mouth, I just cringed. Stockman and Folds had intelligent praise, and constructive criticism. I didn’t always agree with them, but at least I respected what they had to say. Sherzinger, giggled and cooed her way through every round of feedback. She added nothing to the panel. My guess is she’s a Sony recording artist who needed the PR.

The first group to go was Face , an all male “rockapella” group from Boulder Colorado. I thought they were good and liked their interpretation of BonJovi’s Living on a Prayer, but someone’s gotta be first right?

Next went Solo, the group of young adults from Omaha trying to make a better life for themselves. One of their members was a homeless woman. I know this because NBC included the obligatory dramatic background segment on each group. Meh. I feel for the woman and I’m glad they are taking steps towards a better life, but I wished the show focused more on the signing.

Next to leave was Noteworthy, an all girl group from Brigham Young University. These ladies jammed, but I had to agree with the judges that at times girl groups can sound tinny. Still, they had sass without oversexualization (duh, their are Mormons) and I liked them.

That left Nota, The Beelzebubs, Voices of Lee, Maxx Factor, and the SoCals. The SoCals are a group of alumni from the SoCal VoCals at USC. Their dramatic flair was Kelly, a perky blonde with a great voice, who suffers from a type of acid reflux that directly impacts her vocal cords. They had pizazz and great stage presence, but they too had some less than harmonious moments. Still, I was sad to see them go as the group exuded personality on stage.

The last group to leave before the finale, was Maxx Factor. Maxx Factor is four moms form Baltimore Maryland who have apparently made a name for themselves in the world of competitive barbershop singing (who knew?). Of all the sub-genres of a cappella (yes, it does have sub-genres), barbershop is my second least favorite (beat boxing being my first). These ladies made a valiant effort to blent their quartet style with mainstream a cappella, but it never gelled for me. Their interpretation of Taylor Swift’s Love Song, left me cold. However their swan song rendition of Leavin’ On a Jet Plane was awesome. I think they should stick to their strengths.

That left Nota, The Beelzebubs and Voices of Lee for the show’s finale. The judges said their piece and the final decision was left to America. I meant to vote, but truthfully, I liked all three groups. Had I voted, I would have picked the Beelzebubs because the were consistently tight, they had just an amazing stage presence and had a lot of diverse talent in the gorup.

The Voices of Lee blended well and this is the one time I agreed with Nicole Sherzinger, when she called them the a choir of angels. There was a bit of a kerfluffle among the judges abot VOL’s intrepretation of Michael Jackson’s Man in the Mirror. I liked it fine, but Sherzinger and Stockton found it lacking power. Folds said it best, when he said he wasn’t so tied to the original and that VOL’s understated version did the song justice.

The Beelzebubs hail from Tufts University in Medford, Mass. They are the quintessential college a capella group. Throughout the show, their performances were unique, captivating, musically tight and aesthetically pleasing. Their repetoir is also very diverse. The covered, everything from the Beatles and the Who to the Black Eyed Peas. All with charm and pizazz.

Nota is a group of 6 men from Puerto Rico with strong voices and a gift for infusing their performances with a latin feel in a way that made you want to bop right along with them. Their version of I’m Yours by Jason Mraz knocked my socks off and Down by Jay Sean was like crack for my ears. While these guys are good singers, I thought they lacked the stage presence of the other two finalists.

That brings us to the finale. Each group had an opportunity to sing with a celebrity. In reality, each group acted as back up for the celebrity. Voices of Lee sang Pocket Full of Sunshine with Natasha Beddingfield. I thought they could have made better use of VOL, but it was a nice performance. The Beelzebubs sang You Don’t Own Me with Nicole Sherzinger and this my friends is where Sherzinger redeemed herself. She may not be eloquent, but dat girl can SING!! The Bubs ate it up and hammed it up. It was a nice pairing and a strong interpretation.

Nota sang Tracks of my Tears with Smokey Robinson. To my way of thinking this was the weakest of performances. Nota had the vocal chops, but lets face it, Robinson while a legend, is not in his prime anymore so Nota had to restrain themselves and they just couldn’t pull off the moves of the miracles. Not so much a bad reflection on Nota as the show’s producers. Bad choice.

The last show also featured 3 ensemble numbers the opener, was a version of U2’s Still Haven’t Found What I’m Lookin’ For and was a zesty kick-off to the show. In the middle, there was a Christmas number with all three groups and announcer-boy Nick Lachey. Lachey still has his vocal chops, and it was catchy. The best part was the fake snow coating the singers and falling in their mouths. Yuck!! The last ensemble number featured all three groups and human noise maker Bobby McFerrin. McFerrin is just amazing. The sounds he gets out of his body are just remarkable and the groups all appeared enthralled. The result was an up beat little ditty that built up nicely to the revelation of the two finalists.

Announcer Boy shook off the fake snow from the Christmas number to resume his duties as staller of time. Eventually, we learned that the finalists were Nota and The Beelzebubs.

After a commercial break, both groups came back with Ben Folds on piano (huh???) and sang the 70’s anthem, Why Can’t We Be Friends. They all looked like they were having fun, but I would have preferred they stick to the vocals only rule that made the competition what it was. Instead it felt like the producers had a specific song in mind then found a way to accommodate it. Boo hiss.

Then came the final agonizing moments before the winner was crowned. I won’t keep you in suspense. The winner was Nota.

As I said, I would have voted for the Beelzebubs as much for the reasons noted above as for sentimentality. I saw their predecessors perform in the late 80’s and early 90’s and they are from Boston, my hometown for 17 years. I am nothing if not sentimental.

Let’s put sentimentality aside for a moment. Shall we? Instead, allow me to indulge my cynical side. Mike Rowe from Discovery TVs Dirty Jobs has said their is no such thing as Reality TV and I whole heartedly agree with him. The simple introduction of a camera adds a dimension that to my way of thinking precludes reality.

The final prize included cash, but it also included something more lasting, a recording contract with Sony Music. Sony is in the business of making money. Nota, has the vocal talent, but lacks some of the polish and stage presence that the Beelzebubs or Voices of Lee have. Clearly the guys have the basic skills in those areas, and with coaching and practice, they can really shine. Nota also comes without strings (other than family commitments). Both the Beelzebubs and Voices of Lee are tied to universities. I’d bet there are trademark and copyright issues with the names. Not mention that those groups are both at least double the size of Nota and made up a college students who are tied down by things like GPAs and final exams. Those tend to get in the way of things like constant performing and PR junkets. From a purely business sense, Nota is an easy choice. Lucky for Sony, they are the group America picked.

I loved the performances in this series. I could have done without the dramatic background pieces and the long soliloquies from the judges, but that is why we have Tivo®.

I hope that NBC will make this an annual event only please next time? Less talk, more song.

Full performances are available for viewing on the NBC website. You can purchase some of the performances at iTunes.