Tag: Marriage

Time Passages – Congratulations Ed & Kristen

Ed and Kristen sitting on the alter at there wedding ceremonyMy mom talked to their moms when they were both just tots. I’ve watched them grow up and then grow together. We share a genetic condition that identifies us, but doesn’t define us. They are a decade *cough* or two behind me.

We’ve been to many of the same events and share some fantastic memories. As they grew and matured, they became leaders in the albinism community. The people that parents sought out for information and reassurance. She’s an pediatric oncology nurse and he’s a tech guru with mad video skillz.

They met as teens. Her mom pulled me aside and asked what I knew “about this Ed kid”. I told her something to the effect of “relax, he’s good people.” Six years later when the finally “clicked”. He tried to introduce her to me. Like I hadn’t been following both of their trajectories for eons. Not meddling, but not really surprised when they became a couple either. I laugh and still bust him about it to this day.

The bride and groom entering the receptionI get a strange feeling when people who are on the periphery of my life comment or congratulate me on a life event. Though now that I’m the one watching time pass, I have a better understanding of why it happens. It’s a small sense of pride. Do not get me wrong, I am not trying to take credit for the awesome adults they are today, no that lies squarely with four parents who loved, challenged and set expectations. I was just part of the so-called village. I stood on the sidelines and cheered. Occasionally offered advice when it was requested (sometimes when it wasn’t). Mostly, I watched in awe as two kids grew and matured into two amazing, successful adults. Taking notes all the while so that my kids can benefit from their experiences. I hold them up to my kids as examples of what you can become with hard work and dedication.

I was truly honored to be invited to their wedding. The celebration of their marriage, the joining of two amazing human beings and two wonderful families. Congratulations Ed & Kristen. Thanks for letting me be part of your village and thanks for being part of the village that supports my kids.

eandk_group

 

A letter to my daughter on choosing a mate

Dear Fish,

Mother and sonphoto © 2010 Quinn Dombrowski | more info (via: Wylio)Eventually (you know when you are like 30), you are going to want to find someone to be your heart’s desire. I have a few things you should consider when looking for your forever guy. Well actually, I have one thing to consider when looking for your forever guy. Watch how he treats his mother.

Is he dismissive of her?

Do they bicker constantly?

Does he make fun of her in a mean way behind her back?

Does he whine and complain about what she DOESN’T do for him?

Does he DREAD spending time with her?

Is he clueless about her likes, dislikes and dreams?

If the answers are yes, unless there is some sort of major issue, (i.e. mental illness, abuse or alcoholism), RUN, don’t walk away from this man.

On the other hand . . .

Is he respectful?

Does he offer help when she needs it?

Does he do things for her without being asked?

Does he talk to her because he wants to not because he feels obligated to?

Does he jerk her chain just to keep things real?

Does he buy things he think she’d like when they cross his path? I don’t mean for Christmas or birthdays (although he’s thoughtful and generous then) I mean if she says she’s running out of fertilizer and he’s at Big Orange, does he pick up a bag for her?

Is he supportive of the things she does? Showing up charity fundraiser she’s planned, helping her in the garden because it is her passion?

Pink Princess Crown Cupcakephoto © 2009 Clever Cupcakes | more info (via: Wylio)In my experience, the number one indicator for how a man will treat his wife, is how he treats his mother (or the most prominent older female in his life). If he treats her like a queen, he will treat his wife like a queen. If he treats his mother like a second class citizen, he there is a high probability he will treat his wife the same way.

Who you choose as a husband is ultimately up to you, but ask yourself, do you want to be a queen or a wench?

If you are lucky, you’ll find someone like your Daddy, and someday, you’ll graduate from Princess to Queen of your own kingdom.

But, um that doesn’t have to be for a VERY VERY long time ok?

Love,
Mommy