Category: Family

Rise ‘n Shine! Or, not.

December 12, 2011 · 2 Comments ·

I woke up at 5:53am and thought “great I have 5 more minutes.” When I rolled over again it was 6:23am. Panic! The bus comes in less than 20 minutes and if he doesn’t see you standing there, he rolls on by.

I’m a heavy sleeper. I do not wake quickly. I jumped out of bed but couldn’t figure out what to do next. Eventually, I made the decision to drive Fish to school. Since A-man was home he could get Mim to his later bus. I headed for the shower but then thought I should at least tell Fish what was going on so she didn’t panic if she woke up.

Like her mother she wakes slowly and startling her is not a great way to start the day. I called her name softly, no response not even a rustle. I reached into the top bunk to scratch her back but she wasn’t within arms reach. I patted around a bit and finally figured out there wasn’t anybody in the bunk bed. I turned and headed downstairs. When I hit the landing I could tell the light in the kitchen was on. When I hit the 1st floor I could smell toasted Eggos. I called her name still no answer but I could hear somebody banging around in the mud room. When I peeked in, she was loading up her backpack dressed and ready to go. When I asked her why she didn’t wake me she said “I thought I’d let you sleep.” Can I get a collective “Awwwww!”? I got some clothes on and drove her to the bus stop. Once in the car I thanked her and she told me that she was kind of proud of herself. I assured her she should be proud.

I think when we become parents we all have things that we are going to do differently than our parents. Mine was being up with my kids in the morning. My mom was a night owl and had her own challenges so from the time I was in 5th grade on, I made my own lunch and breakfast and got myself out the door. This wasn’t bad there were no major problems, but I always kind of wished I had one of those moms who was there in the morning. So I set out to be that mom for my kids. During elementary school this wasn’t that big of a deal they were both on the same schedule and generally needed some prodding. This year they’re on different schedules and Fish is on the bus at 0’dark hundred. That means I’m up at a quarter before 0’dark hundred. Did I mention I wake slowly? I’m not necessarily the best company but I’m there. Turns out, my presence is unnecessary.

After school, we talked more about the morning routine and she explained that she’d really rather get up and get going by herself she wants the independence. I want to sleep so hey, it’s a win-win right? Well, she’s still my baby, it’s dark and cold out and while not far, the bus stop is out of sight from the house.

We struck a compromise, I only have to get up in time to drive her to the bus stop. She gets her indepndence. I get more sleep, but still get a few minutes to see her smiling face in the morning. I know she’s safe and I have a few minutes to enjoy my tea and journal in peace and quiet before her brother wakes up. It just strikes me as funny that something I thought was so important was an imposition on my daughter’s quest for independence. Yet another, reminder, she’s not me 🙂

Touch-a-Truck

November 19, 2011 · Leave a comment ·

The PTA sponsored a Touch-a-Truck event as a fundraiser last weekend. We took Mim and had a blast. Trucks are COOL!

The weather was perfect allbeit a little breezy. They had an awesome turn out and raised some money. There is talk of making it an annual event.

Karate

November 15, 2011 · Leave a comment ·

Mim started taking Karate in the spring. A few weeks ago, he participated in his first tournament. He earned a competitors trophy (which is a nice way of saying he came in fourth out of four), but more importantly, he had fun and can’t WAIT to try it again next year.

My Girls

November 4, 2011 · 4 Comments ·

I can anthropomorphize ANYTHING, just ask my kids. In my wacked out mind most things have feelings. This is especially true of old toys. I don’t have many from my childhood. My one regret being the time my mother and I mutually agreed to give away my Little People (the wooden ones) and all of their accoutrements.

I do have The Girls, Baby Tenderlove (center), Huggums (right) and Little Lisa (Left). Baby Tenderlove was my confidant when I was a toddler and preschooler. I’m told she absorbed an enormous amount of my frustrations when my parents marriage fell apart. Huggums came later and she wore real baby clothes. Clothes my mother saved from my infant years. She and I explored the neighborhood as I refined my caregiving skills during elementary school (she’s the one who taught me the importance of ALWAYS buckling the baby into a stroller!).

Little Lisa came from a high school boyfriend at the height of the Cabbage Patch Kids craze (I had a mass market CPK, but didn’t find it too hard to allow her to find another home). Little Lisa was made especially for me by David’s sister Joan whom I adored. She also wears an outfit I wore as a baby.

When I was in college, my mom, not quite ready to part with my childhood, asked Joan to restore Huggums (thankfully David and I had parted ways on good terms). I cried when I opened the box on Christmas morning. Joan did an amazing job especially considering that Huggums had um, well, let’s just say her head and her body had divorced one another. Joan managed a reconciliation and returned my pal to her glory.

By the time my daughter was born, my mother had sold my childhood home and during the move, I had rescued a naked Baby Tenderlove. Once again I enlisted Joan’s services and she did an amazing job especially given what she had to work with.

Fish never really took to the dolls, but I never really encouraged her either. At one time all of the ladies mattered very much to me, but these days, they are little more than dust collectors. Still, there is a weird connection, to throw them away seems disrespectful of all the comfort and entertainment they provided over the years. And, while letting them find a new home with another little girl (a la Toy Story 3), would be a noble thing, I can’t. I’ve read the Velveteen Rabbit. Dammit people! These girls have experienced enough. They are real!

“Save them,” my mother-in-law said. “Someday you’ll be a grandmother you know!” I used to be a keeper, but 15 years of being married to her son have broken me of that habit. *Sigh* As happy as they might make another little girl, I just can’t bear to give them away. I bought some acid free tissue paper, gave them a each a kiss and told them to take a long nap until their services would be required by a future generation.

Sleep well girls.

I know. I’m a sap.

Bermuda, the Details

October 24, 2011 · Leave a comment ·

“We need a vacation.” My husband declared last winter as we were in the midst of yet ANOTHER crazy week.

“No argument here.”

“Why don’t you see if you can plan something for our 15th anniversary, maybe a cruise or something.”

“Great idea honey.” Zoooomm! Lee is off like a shot fingers flying over the computer keys.

We cruised Alaska for our honeymoon and we will go back, but the timing wasn’t right this time. Besides, I want to take the kids and this trip was to be adults only. We even convinced our dear friends Joe and Charlene to go with us. I did some initial poking, but when it came time to get serious, I knew who to call.

I met Evan Eggers owner of SureCruise.com through business connections when I was an event planner. At one time I tried to plan a conference at sea, but it never came to fruition. Still Evan and I kept in touch over the years. I emailed Evan and he connected me with Ned Skiff. I explained our requirements to Ned (dates of departure, budget, cabin choice – balcony please, and ports of interest) and let him loose. Ned quickly identified several options and with more feedback, we narrowed it to a cruise from Port Liberty in New Jersey to Bermuda. It was nice not having to do the leg work but Ned’s real strengths were his honest answers regarding the merits of the different cruise lines, destinations, pricing, packages and patience answering my endless questions as we prepared to depart. Cruising has changed for the better in the last 15 years.

We sailed on Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines’ Explorer of the Seas and it was beautiful. The ship was big without feeling overwhelming. The food was excellent, the service was great. There was a lot to do on the ship, including, ice skating, inline skating and shows. When I first read the descriptions of all the things to do on board, they sounded like fun but when actually faced with the choice of participating in activities versus watching the clouds go by, with a drink and my Kindle. The choice was easy. So, when we were at sea, we spent our time, eating, hanging in the piano bar or sitting by a rail watching the clouds go by. A-Man paid a visit or two to the casino and I found the pool a few times, but slow was our M. O. . We could have gotten cell service and Internet access, but we made a conscious decision not to. Our kids were in good hands with my in-laws, it was time to unplug and recharge our batteries.

Bermuda was beautiful. On day one, we took a tour where we road bikes on the rail trail and visited the Somerset Draw Bridge, the world’s smallest drawbridge. Our tour guide Stefan was a hoot. That evening, we enjoyed The Barracuda Grill.

On day two, we rejoined Stefan and his co-horts to kayak the ocean blue. Our guide lead us as we hugged the coastline and explored the beautiful waters. I am at my calmest when I am on the water. I sucked up every second of the peace. Filing away the tranquility for one of those days gone awry in the future.

Bermuda is a beautiful country and the people are friendly. I would love to go back and enjoy it again. We will definitely cruise again. Hopefully sooner rather than later!

Have you cruised? What was your favorite port? Which cruise lines did you like best? I have to start planning our next get-away 🙂

I received no compensation from SureCruise.com or Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines, for this post. I’m simply sharing my thoughts as a satisfied customer.

This is Halloween to Me

October 15, 2011 · 1 Comment ·

I married into a family who elevates Halloween to the level of Thanksgiving or Christmas. Come October 1, my sister-in-law (a.k.a Auntie) gets her witch on and the planning commences for this year’s decorations. Auntie loves her a good scare. Not a cheap, throw blood everywhere scare. Nope she goes for the spook factor and then when you least expect it she throws in a fright. Her house is the highlight of the block.

Columbus Day weekend brings the annual Halloween celebration at the lake and it is an event not to be missed. My Mother-in-law invites family and friends to the lake for an afternoon of pumpkin carving, fall foods and trick-or-treating. This means that the kids costumes have to be ready early. On one hand this is good as we have the pick of the crop when it comes to supplies. On the other, wait, costumes ready EARLY????

Fortunately for me, Auntie and Grammy have the costume thing under control. Last year, Mim wanted to be Lightening McQueen, Auntie made it happen. Look at this, will you?

This year, Mim wanted to be Finn McMissle from Cars2 and Auntie being Auntie couldn’t say no.

Grammy took care of Fish. Together they created Micky Mouse.

As should be evidenced by now. I am a total slacker when it comes to Halloween. I am truly grateful that my kids have Auntie and Grammy to indulge them.

Ten years on

September 11, 2011 · Leave a comment ·

September 11, 2011

Ten years.

It takes less than ten seconds for me to travel back to the fear, uncertainty and sadness that was September 11, 2001. Fish was 17 months old. A week after the attacks I sat down and began a journal entry for her. I wasn’t faithful to journalling at that time. Running a small web-design business and raising a toddler kept me away from my words, but I couldn’t NOT write. I emptied my head and my heart for about 8 pages, piecemeal, over the next month.

Ten years later, Fish is 11, smart and a sponge who loves to suck up knowledge. She craves details. She knows about the journal and I’m debating sharing it with her this year. It took me a while to locate the box with the canvas bound journal in the attic, but I knew I’d never have thrown it away.

The writings are addressed to her specifically. I talk about where I was when it happened. I walk her through the first few hours of the aftermath. Detailing with whom I spoke, and what I was seeing and hearing on the television.

I tell her about what happened as we knew it at that time. Some of my information is inaccurate, I quote a death toll of over 5,000. It would later be reduced to just over 3,000.

Some things I got right even then.

Reading my words, it all comes rushing back to me. The fear, the tears and the overwhelming sense of sadness. The feeling we as a country had been violated and had taken a turn for the worse. I’m not sure she’ll have the same reaction when she reads it. I suspect down the road after she has more life experience she’ll be able to better identify with my emotions.

We’ve discussed the events of 9/11/01 and even visited the Pentagon Memorial. Still, to Fish and Mim, it will always be history. Part of me would like to keep it that way. It was such a horrible experience, let it lie flat on the page of a history book. Making it real for them, to me means an end to their innocence. And yet, much of the state of our economy and foreign policy can be tied back to the events of that day. If they are to be educated citizens of the world, it is our job as parents to help them to understand what happened, why it happened and what the long term effects have been. My words do not equate to an academic analysis, but they are snapshot of the time.

I pray she and her brother NEVER have to experience anything close to 9/11, yet I know for that to happen, we as a country have to be educated and diligent.

September 11, 2011, we will never forget.

The First Day of School

September 9, 2011 · Leave a comment ·

Alternately Titled: How I Lost my Mother Of The Year Award

Fish is not a morning person. Actually, that’s not true, once awake, she can be bright and cheery, she just wakes VERY slowly. I joke that it is best to poke the beast and back away. Left to her own devices, she’d laze around in bed until 10am and stay up reading or educating her American Girl dolls until 10pm. Sadly for her, the “real world” intervenes.

This year Fish started middle school. Ours is a regional district (translation: looooooong bus ride to the middle and high school). A few days before school started, I checked the bus schedule and confirmed that the pick up would be at o’dark hundred.

Fish is very independent and probably could get out the door unassisted, but I remember HAVING to get out the door unassisted as a kid and it was stressful. I view my role at this age as supportive. If she needs something done, she asks me to do it, but she takes care of most aspects of the morning routine herself while I enjoy my tea and catch up on email.

The week preceding the beginning of school, I rousted her earlier and earlier each day. The day before school started, we had our annual Back-to-School Breakfast starting at 7am so we all had to be up and at ’em. That night, she packed her lunch and asked me for help picking out clothes. Excitement was in the air, but we all made it to bed and even to sleep, at a reasonable hour. We both set our alarms. The plan was that her alarm would be the initial poke and I would follow with a verbal reminder.

Good plan. Except her alarm didn’t go off and I some how snoozed mine twice. I came to at about 6:20, the bus was due at 6:40am. GAH!!! So much for the nice relaxing start to the first day of school. Amazingly, we pulled it together and got to the bus with about 30 seconds to spare.

Thankfully, Mim’s morning ran a little more smoothly. He awoke in a good mood, but as the time to depart for the bus grew near, he confessed to feeling nervous. We left in plenty of time and on the way down, to the stop, he asked to hold my hand. I love the feeling of a small smooth hand in mine. As he held on tight, he chattered about who he’d see and what he was going to do and say. At the first rumble of the bus, he let go. Once the red lights flashed, he gave me a “Bye Mama!” and took off without looking back.

I have four years of this split schedule ahead of me and I can already tell, that I’m going to enjoy the time alone with each child that it provides.

On this day 15 years ago . . .

September 7, 2011 · 2 Comments ·

. . . I married my husband.

Definitely, the best choice I ever made!

Happy 15th Anniversary A-Man!

Summer 2011 Redux

September 6, 2011 · Leave a comment ·

So, here I am again with much to talk about and the Universe willing, the time to talk about it.

It was a crazy summer for us. Fortunately, it was crazy in a good way. We were about a week late getting out of school due to snow days, so in a shortened summer we managed to squeeze, a birthday sleepover celebration, bike camp, family time at The Lake, a trip brief trip to The Cape for a visit with my family, a funeral, Lego Camp, a visit from our friends from Kansas, Girl Scout Camp, Theater Camp, NOAH Family camp and more time at The Lake with friends. My head spins just thinking about it all. It is the first summer neither of the kids were in a formal summer program. While we had days off here and there, Fish had only one week that was completely unscheduled. Mim had two. I was unsure what to expect and frankly nervous without the safety net of the summer program for Mim, but both kids did well and I didn’t even lose my mind .

The kids started school August 23rd. I’m sure to some people that seems late, but most schools in the Northeast don’t start until after Labor Day. We’re early even in comparison to other local districts. Ours is a regional district at the middle and high school levels. Some or our contributing towns are fairly rural. If the buses can’t make it down those roads, school is cancelled. The school board has to plan for worst case scenario when it comes to snow days, so it is back to school we go.

The kids were excited to see their friends and start in their respective new classes (UGH I have a child in middle school). I am excited to regain a few hours out of my day. I hope the extra time will show here.

Live Fearless Lee

Or at least that's what I tell myself