. . . I married my husband.
Definitely, the best choice I ever made!
Happy 15th Anniversary A-Man!
Author: Lee Laughlin
Summer 2011 Redux
So, here I am again with much to talk about and the Universe willing, the time to talk about it.
It was a crazy summer for us. Fortunately, it was crazy in a good way. We were about a week late getting out of school due to snow days, so in a shortened summer we managed to squeeze, a birthday sleepover celebration, bike camp, family time at The Lake, a trip brief trip to The Cape for a visit with my family, a funeral, Lego Camp, a visit from our friends from Kansas, Girl Scout Camp, Theater Camp, NOAH Family camp and more time at The Lake with friends. My head spins just thinking about it all. It is the first summer neither of the kids were in a formal summer program. While we had days off here and there, Fish had only one week that was completely unscheduled. Mim had two. I was unsure what to expect and frankly nervous without the safety net of the summer program for Mim, but both kids did well and I didn’t even lose my mind .
The kids started school August 23rd. I’m sure to some people that seems late, but most schools in the Northeast don’t start until after Labor Day. We’re early even in comparison to other local districts. Ours is a regional district at the middle and high school levels. Some or our contributing towns are fairly rural. If the buses can’t make it down those roads, school is cancelled. The school board has to plan for worst case scenario when it comes to snow days, so it is back to school we go.
The kids were excited to see their friends and start in their respective new classes (UGH I have a child in middle school). I am excited to regain a few hours out of my day. I hope the extra time will show here.
Updates from home
Fish is a Girl Scout Camp for the next two weeks. This is my first email to her. Yes, EMAIL! My how times have changed. The camp offers this service where you buy tokens and can send email messages to your camper. It is a one way service, so I wait by the mailbox for her letters detailing her adventures.
Dear Fish,
I hope you are having a great time. I’m betting even you got to sleep later than I did this morning.
Dory started whining at 6am. I sat up, one eye open and realized she was losing a staring match with Winnie. I told them both to knock it off and tried to get back to sleep. Dory would have none of that, so I got up and let her out. I stumbled back to bed and once again tried to get back to sleep. Within a few minutes, Dory ended up on the front porch barking her head off. It wasn’t a bark I’d heard before, she didn’t sound hurt, but she sounded angry. So I went BACK downstairs to check on her. I didn’t see anything unusual, and just wanted her to stop barking, so I made her come in and come back upstairs with me. I did manage to get back to sleep but then the cat had the nerve to move and Dory started whining again. By then it was 7, so I just got up. I went downstairs, let Dory out and started my tea. Almost immediately, Dory started barking again. The next two hours were a back and forth of me letting Dory out and her barking at something towards the driveway and me letting her back in again and so on and so on. I kept thinking whatever was in the woods would move on.
On one of my trips to scold the dog, I looked out the door at the end of the hall and saw something in the driveway. My first thought was a turtle, but if it was a turtle it was one honkin’ turtle!
I put on my flip flops and went outside to investigate leaving Dory in the house. No, it wasn’t a turtle, it wasn’t even alive. It was the back to Mim’s booster seat!!! I brought it inside and showed it to her, then sent her back outside and she hasn’t made a peep since!
I hope you are having a great time at camp. We miss you!
Love,
Mom
Girl Scout Camp
I was probably about 9 or 10 years old when I went to Girl Scout Camp for the first time. I went to Camp Tweedale for a program called All Sports of Things. We swam, we canoed, we learned to lash sticks together to build structures. We went on an overnight tent camping trip off site and then hiked to the Herr’s potato chip factory for a tour. Given my age, it can’t have been a long hike, but it was a gray overcast day with a light rain, and man it seemed like it took 4 EVAH!! That said, you’ve never had a potato chip until you’ve had one fresh from the frier. Oh my mouth still waters from the memory.
I remember being homesick only one night in my four year Girl Scout Camp career. My favorite counselor was Bear. It was her night off and I desperately didn’t want her to leave, a melt down ensued but by morning, I was over it.
As a suburban kid who’s mother hated bugs, camp was my first real exposure to the outdoors especially sleeping outside. We were in canvas tents with wood platform floors and the thunder that was usually muffled by insulation and wallboard was some loud let me tell you!
For 3 years, I went to Camp Tohikanee (Tohi for short) for their Summer Barn Theater program (we really performed in an awesome old barn). The first year I was sick and got there late, so I was part of the Lollypop Guild in the Wizzard of Oz. The second year, we performed the Sound of Music and I was Max, the Von Trapp family’s agent. My last year, I was cast as Fagan in Oliver. I got sick while at camp, but didn’t tell anyone until I couldn’t hide it anymore. I knew I had a fever that kept breaking and rising, but I was so excited to have a major part, I didn’t want to give it up. Eventually I was ordered to the infirmary and nursed back to health by Suki, our wonderful camp nurse. She made me well (enough) in time for the big performance.
To me Girl Scout Camp conjures memories of singing, laughter, friendships, bug bites, polar bear swims, campfires and incredible opportunities for personal development and growth. This trip down memory lane was inspired by my present. My daughter is attending Girl Scout Camp for the second year. This year, she’s attending for two weeks in a program called “Camp Swap”, the first week will be spent rock climbing and the second will be spent horseback riding. She is going with a friend and when I left her yesterday she was a bundle of excited and nervous energy. I know she’ll have a good time and I can’t wait to hear about all of her adventures and the memories she’ll cherish for years to come.
Mim Gets His Wheels
“Gimmie some wheels if I can’t have wings.” – Suzy Boggus
Mim learned to ride a two wheeler last week. Special thanks go to Jeff and the crew at Pediatric Physical Therapy, Inc. Yes, I paid someone to teach my son how to ride a bike.
Fish is quiet, but gutsy. Her ski instructor named her “White Lightening” in honor of her lust for throwing herself down a mountain at full speed. Mim is outgoing, but fearful of trying new things. I’m impatient. I work hard not to force him to do things he can’t do, but I also push him to work through his fears. I do it because I know he can do these things and because when he does push through, his smile could power New York City for a week.
When it came to teaching him to ride a two wheeler, he had multiple willing instructors, me, his dad, his sister and his awesome Auntie Jennie. No go. He’d freeze, his body would go stiff and he’d topple. He’d beg for his training wheels.
When I got wind of bike camp, I was all about signing him up, but only if he was willing. His Dad and I talked to him about it and made the offer to send him. He said yes. We told him he didn’t HAVE to go, but that if he wanted to learn to ride, we’d send him. We also told him that if he did go, we expected him to give it his all. He said yes.
He was nervous, but with Jeff’s help and the help of the other volunteers, he worked through it and by the end of day two, he was riding independently.
YAY MIM!! I am so proud of you, but more importantly, you are proud of yourself.
A Hearse, a Limo or just Lexi
“I think we should replace your car.” He said. I had just lugged the last of the groceries in while he finished up a business call and was transferring the pile of chicken quarters I bought on sale, to the freezer. “Um, ok.” I kept on putting groceries away. He outlined his reasoning and as he spoke, it became apparent he meant we should replace my car that day!
It wasn’t a total shock, we’d be talking about it off and on for a few months. His truck and my Honda CR-V were very close in age. Mine had decidedly more miles and wear an tear and was starting to show it’s age. Nothing insurmountable, just some squeaks. With a minimal amount of TLC, it would easily give us at least another 60,000 miles or about 2.5 years the way I drive.
Without a car payment, I was enjoying watching our savings grow every month and REALLY liking the lower insurance and lower tax bills. Still as my husband shared his thoughts, it did seem to be a good idea to at least look more seriously.
I had done research online and narrowed my choices to three cars. Were it not for the need for more space, I would have definitely purchased another CR-V. I loved that car and it served me well. The redesign added a bit of space and I liked the new look, but as the kids have grown, our needs have changed.
Needs analysis
We are an active family. We bike, we ski, and I kayak. In the summer, we spend our weekends up at the lake and that means lugging coolers, bikes, kayaks, buckets of clothes, the dog and assorted guests. That time is family time and to me, that includes the trip. We have gotten to the point where we needed to take two cars and that takes some of the fun out of it. First criteria, was seating for at least six plus cargo space.
We live on a dirt road and New England winters and the mud seasons that follow can be brutal. The world doesn’t stop because it is snowing, so all wheel drive was another requirement. I’m frequently carting precious cargo, mine and other people’s kids, so safety was important too. Decent gas mileage was also high on the list. That said, one does not get seating for 6 and a V6 engine and get 35 mpg. The CR-V got 20-21mpg local driving and closer to 24 on the highway. I knew I was going to take a hit in this department.
I am a function over form person. Thus why I spend my life in jeans and danskos 🙂 I don’t really care about appearances, I am more concerned with how things work. I spent some time on ConsumerReports.org and talked with friends who had the vehicles I was interested in. It came down to the Ford Flex, the Honda Pilot and the Toyota Highlander.
I have friends who have all three cars. I even had a chance to drive a Highlander under real world conditions. It has a smooth ride and handles well, but there are cargo issue with all the seats occupied. You can have people or cargo, but not both. A friend who got the Flex a few months ago just raved about how much she could carry even when she had extra passengers. The Pilot was the car I knew the least about.
The Ford Dealer was first geographically. Keith met us and listened to our requirements. He also talked to ME. A rare experience with a car salesman. It’s my car dammit. My husband has some input, but the bottom line is I’m the primary driver. From the get go, Keith got that and addressed my interests and concerns. He showed us the Flex and also the new Ford Explorer. “It’s ugly.” My husband said of the Flex. “It’s smooshed.” I said of the Explorer.
Keith lead us to the other side of the lot and showed us a few pre-owned cars including a 2009 Flex that was loaded with features, I’d never go out of my way to pay for, but are nice to have in a car.
We drove the Flex first and everyone, (we took the kids on this expedition), loved it. Even my husband said, “It is still ugly, but I don’t have to look at it from the inside.” We took the Explorer and before we even left the lot, my husband predicted I’d hate it. I tried to keep an open mind, but he was right. The sight lines were awful and because it was more contoured, it had less space than the Flex.
We went into this with our eyes open. We’d done our research, we knew the prices of the cars we were looking at, what my CR-V was worth and we also knew the pre-owned versions of all three models were hard to come by. A-Man and I talked and eliminated the Highlander from the equation because of space. Of my original choices, we were down to the Flex and the Honda Pilot. We knew if we wanted THIS Flex, we had to move pretty quickly. Keith wasn’t pushy, he didn’t have a mythical buyer waiting for the car, but we knew it wouldn’t be around long. Still, I wanted to at least drive the Pilot, due diligence and all that.
Auto Fair has both a Ford and a Honda Dealership, so we all piled into the Flex and drove over to Honda to test drive a Pilot. Driving the Pilot was like driving a larger CR-V with more pick up. I knew where all the controls were, it handled exactly as I expected. I liked it. When we got back to the lot, we parked the two side by side and started to dismantle the Pilot. We put the seats down and took a good look at the space.
Hands down the Flex had more useable space. Pre-owned meant less money, and because it was two years old, it would also mean slightly lower insurance and taxes. The Flex had all the things we wanted plus leather seats, a fantastic sound system, sun roofs (four of them!), the Sync system (digital media and blue tooth) and it the sticker was about $8,000 less than we’d budgeted for a new car.
Auto Fair made us a fair offer for my car and they also wiggled a little on the cost of the Flex. It was a good transaction. If it had come down to buying a new Ford Flex vs. a new Honda Pilot, I suspect I’d have gone with the Pilot. My cursory research showed me we’d get more bang for our buck with the Pilot, but THIS Flex was just too sweet of a deal to pass up.
On the way home, my daughter pipes up, “I like it, but it sort of looks like a hearse.” I laughed out loud, because you know what? She’s right. A few days later as I was carpooling to chorus, one of her friends said, “It looks like a limo.”
We’ve had it three weeks and it is exactly what I wanted in a car. It carries 7 comfortably, and handles well. Call it what you want, I love it.
I wrote this post to share my experiences. I was pleased with the transaction with liked working with Keith Osowski an Auto Fair. I did not receive any compensation. If you are in the market for a Ford, contact Keith at first initial, last name @autofair.com and tell him I sent you 😉
SportsWOMANship
This is making the rounds on Facebook. It is an awesome story especially in light of the shenanigans in Vancouver after the NHL Stanley cup finals.
Click through, but bring tissues.
Whew!
Whew! I’ve missed this place! I can’t believe it has been more than a month since I’ve written here. Worse, other than cursory emails, I really haven’t written for the last month. UGH!! I’m feeling constipated with words.
This time of year is always crazy. Since my last entry, we’ve had a boy’s birthday, a man’s birthday, the End of The Year Ceremony for the Girl Scouts, lots of Karate, a school, and two IEP meetings and a bunch of other year-end activities.
This month has been extra nuts as my mother has some medical issues and I am trying to help from an hour an a half away. Yes, I am an exhausted member of the sandwich generation, those of us caring for aging parents and growing children. Yee Haw!!
I have heaps of things I want to share with you. I’m optimistic I’ll regain now that summer vacation is in full swing. I can’t claim 2 hours a day like Wendy, (her kids are older than mine), but I’d be happy with a few hours a week.
I checked the calendar this morning, and we only have one week during the summer where nothing is scheduled. My son has a second solo week while my daughter is at Girl Scout camp. Other than that, we have something all or part of every week.
It’s not as bad as it sounds, we’re not booked solid, just booked steady. I’m actually kind of excited, the kids have lot’s of cool activities lined up. My son has a bike camp, both kids are going to Lego camp, my daughter the, the aforementioned Girl Scout Camp, and we are traveling to Pennsylvania for our second visit to a camp for families affected by albinism. We’ll keep going to karate and skateboarding and spend some time at the lake too.
I suspect the days Will crawl but the summer will FLY!
I promise I’ll be back soon, but until then, here’s a photo summary of where I’ve been for the last month.
43
Today I am 43. Birthdays often cause me to take stock and I have to say all things considered, life is pretty damn good these days.
I have an awesome husband (but don’t mention it because he hates compliments), two beautiful children and scads of friends and family whom I rely on to stay sane.
My daughter wished me Happy thirty-second birthday this morning. I laughed but told her, I don’t mind aging. I’m happy with progress and I can honestly say while there are specific experiences I wouldn’t mind reliving, I have no desire to go back to any certain time in my life.
I read a blog post recently where the blogger said that people who say they have no regrets are full of sh*t. Well then I guess I’m full of it because I have no regrets. Regrets to me are big picture things that I truly had control over. I’m glad I went to college where I did, I’m glad I’ve chosen the careers I did. I’m glad I married the man I did and that we had two kids. I’m even glad we moved to New Hampshire. The big choices have all worked out well for me. Yes there have been (and continue to be struggles), and I do wish some things had turned out differently. But, to call those things regrets is making big stuff out of small stuff.
So, what’s next? Writing. I have a number of stories in various stages of draft. Consciously I know that the real work can’t begin until I get the story out of my head and into a setting (digital or analog) where I can refine it. If I could just get out of my own damn way, I would have something to edit in no time.
It is the getting out of my own way that I struggle with. I have a habit of planning ahead. I am always looking forward trying to do things as efficiently as possible so as to be prepared and to minimize effort. While there are situations where this is a handy skill set, often, it in my attempt to anticipate the future, I borrow trouble. I try to figure out what all the possible hurdles could be and I get overwhelmed. Once I am overwhelmed with all the ways I could fail, it becomes clear to me that I am wasting my time and I walk away. I have to keep reminding myself that with writing, it is the means that justify the end. Once I get the “sloppy copy” out, only then can I refine it and turn it into something viable. I have to turn off my planning instinct and just roll with it. In other words just write!
Also on the agenda is continuing my quest for weight loss and improved health. I’ve mad a good start and am thrilled with the results. There is nothing like the feeling you get when you put on a pair of pants that were too tight last summer only to find out they are just right or even a smidge loose this summer. Now I just need to keep it up. Thus far, I’m not finding it quite as hard as I expected and any challenges are tempered by the successes.
Those are my big challenges for the foreseeable future. If only it was that easy that I should focus only on those to things, I’d be svelte and published in no time! Back in the real world, I am married with aging parents and growing children. Relationships must be nurtured, bills must be paid, and schedules must be managed. I say that with no tone of martyrdom or malice. Like I said at the top, I’m happy with the choices I’ve made.
Onward towards 44!
Sunday Morning
Homemade Blueberry Muffins,
My Pandora station made specifically for Sunday mornings, hot tea and some yummy fresh eggs.
Hard pressed to think of a better way to start the day.
Live Fearless Lee 