Author: Lee Laughlin

10

April 2, 2010 · 3 Comments ·

Today you are 10 years old.

Ten

Diez

A Decade

Double Digits

You are smart, but more importantly you are curious. You want to understand that which is new to you. You aren’t afraid to ask for a definition or an explanation. Explanations, that given the complexities of this world we live in, I am sometimes woefully unprepared to offer. Be patient, I am trying.

You are stretching and growing so fast. Everyday, the little girl facade cracks a little revealing a maturing you. Your thirst for maturity and responsibility grows by the day. Your dad and I struggle to achieve the delicate balance between encouraging your growth and maintaining your safety. Most of the time, it isn’t that you aren’t ready for new responsibilities, it is that we, your parents aren’t ready for you to be ready for those responsibilities. We’ll get there.

I am quick to grouse when the laundry STILL isn’t put away or when I trip making my way across your room. Yet, I don’t tell you often enough how proud I am of you. I assume you know, but I need to remember offer more praise, you deserve it.

You do what your supposed to do when you are supposed to do it so often, I forget to say thank you and good job. I come to expect it and yet I think the level of responsibility you demonstrate is remarkable for your age.

You are a fantasitc big sister. Your brother can drive you nuts, and you require your own time and space, but you look out for him and seek him out to play with him. He thinks you a pretty special too.

I love the way you move back and fourth between your roles as emerging tween and little girl. Never let go of the little girl completely.

I love that everyone who meets you has nothing but great things to say about you. Your teachers say you are a joy to have in class and they wish they could clone you. They are amazed at how you make connections between what you are learning and your own experiences. The neigbhor says you are kind and sweet and so patient when you work as a mother’s helper.

I love that out of the blue, you ask about a friends we haven’t seen in a while and say “we should get together with them soon.”

Your heart is huge and given easily and sometime that means it gets bruised easily too. I cringe on those days and while I want to go bop whomever has hurt your feelings, I hang back and try to help you work it through on your own. Never mistake my lack of action for a lack of caring. I’ve got your back baby!

You have a sense of style and organization that is all your own. Often it puzzles me, but I am enjoying watching it develop. I hope that you will continue to mix and match.

I can see some of both of your dad and I in you and yet there is a third part, that is all you. I am enjoying watching as you take the pieces we’ve given you, mix them with your own expereinces and desires and mold them into a person that is truly you.

Mother daughter relationships are notoriously fraught with challenges. We have ours and will, no dobut, have more, but I want you to know that no matter what, I will always love you and ultimately while I want nothing but the best for you, what matters most to me is that you figure out what makes you truly happy.

Happy 10th Fisharoo!

Blog Post Interrupted

March 31, 2010 · 5 Comments ·

Working from home has its challenges, the biggest of which is endless opportunities to waste time. Yesterday’s to do list included two blog posts, paying some bills, a phone call to my Dad and laundry. Sometimes I am my own worst enemy with regards to being productive, but sometimes, productivity isn’t all it is cracked up to be.

Productivity gurus would say write first. I decided to call my Dad instead. I hadn’t spoken to him for a while and while he has lived out West for more than 30 years, he still runs on East coast time. The best time to reach him is in the early, early morning his time.

Dan and a 2 year old me sitting in a lawn chair on Tempo Road — Dad & I Then

My biological father and I have a complicated history. One that involves divorce, distance, alcoholism, sobriety, perfectionism, stubbornness, and uncertainty. My parents split when I was three and I was very fortunate that Dennis stepped into my life when I was six. Dennis wasn’t my dad, but he was. I wasn’t his daughter, but I was. Dennis always encouraged my relationship with my Dad, and for a variety of reasons, some of them circumstance, some of them my fault, some of them my Dad’s, we’ve never been especially close.

A little more than a decade ago, my world was turned upside down and I realized that what I thought I knew for sure, might not have been true after all. I always thought my perspective on things was independent, but the glasses I’d been wearing were shattered and I realized that perhaps, my opinions had been more heavily influenced than I originally thought. Since then, my Dad and I have stayed more in touch and worked to get to know one another. It is a journey we are taking together and I dare say we are enjoying.

I called yesterday to touch base and we ended up talking for quite a while. I knew some things that were helpful to some issues he was dealing with. We said our goodbyes and I moved on to writing. A while later, he called back. He was looking for something and needed my Internet skills.

The conversation focused on one of his interests, classic films.

While he’s a movie buff, I’ve always been more of a music person. During our conversation I revealed the fact that I’ve never seen Breakfast at Tiffanys. To his way of thinking, this is a huge failure in my cultural education. My college roommate was a film person, and given how many other classic films I have seen, it does seem like a bit of a gaping hole.

My father is a fabulous story teller and in his younger days was active in the New York bar scene. Yesterday, he regaled me with more of his exploits as it related to his movie knowledge. It was really fun to help him find what he was looking for and to learn more about what makes him tick. We said our goodbyes and again I turned back to work.

I turned up the volume on iTunes to find that the current song was Cracklin’ Rosie by Neil Diamond. On the weekends we did spend together, my Dad and I spend countless hours in the car and Neil Diamond was one of our perennial favorites. Cracklin’ Rosie was a song that ALWAYS made me think of him. I had to call him back to share the serendipity with him. We ended up talking for another 20 minutes sharing memories of some of our adventures.

We can’t change history. In one way or another, we’ve both said we’re sorry. There is still distance and uncertainty between us and yet we are actively taking steps to close that gap. There is no destination on this journey. I have no “goals” for my relatiohship with my Dad other than continuing to share stories and make memories.

I never did get the blog post written, but in the words of Brad Paisley, it was Time Well Wasted.

Dad and I June 2009 — Dad and I June, 2009

Photo Credit, David Ryan

Community

March 31, 2010 · Leave a comment ·

This was our weekend:

Saturday

A pancake breakfast for the Lion’s Club, the PTA Easter Egg Hunt and the bake sale, the Winter Farmer’s Market in Concord (Fresh eggs and Apples yum!), and a birthday party for one of my son’s classmates. The neighbors had asked us to stop by, so we meandered across the street for a “quick” visit. Two hours and two tired kids later, it was time to go home. 8pm is too late for steak tips, so Lucky Charms and frozen pizza it is!

Sunday brought a trip to visit the Mudgett Hill Mumbling Maplers and their annual fundraiser for Make A Wish. A gallon of syrup, some raffle tickets, 4 maple whoopie pies and we were on our way home for a brief stop before I took my son to another birthday party.

After the party, it was home again. A little family time, dinner, tubs and bed.

Crazy? Oh yeah, but other than the birthday parties, it was all optional and yet, I wouldn’t have wanted to miss a single activity. One of the things that I most treasure about living here is the active community. Parents work hard to support the school and citizens volunteer their time to make the world a better place. I can’t think of a better place to call home.

What are some of the “can’t miss” activities in your community?

Writing about why I haven’t been writing

March 23, 2010 · 1 Comment ·

Well the last week here in Skeeterville has been fun. I started a week ago Monday when I awoke at 4am to Mim vomiting IN HIS SLEEP. Clearly it had happened a few times and sleeps-like-a-rock mommy didn’t hear him. When I woke him to clean him up, first words out of his mouth? “Mom, Fish and I unlocked Carburetor Canyon On Mater Nationals.”

Um yeah buddy that’s great, but can mommy get the chunks of grilled cheese out of your hair please?

24 hours later, he was up and running, but I was down for the count with a Sinus headache and a clogged nose. When I’m sick, I can’t go above and beyond. I can really only handle the basics and even then, not that well. I thought this might be allergies, so I didn’t start Zicam soon enough. Thus, my mucus under pressure and the associated cold medicine haze lasted far longer than it should have.

Come Saturday, I was still pretty miserable, but it was a beautiful day, so I lazed on the sun porch while everyone else enjoyed the burst of spring. Fish and her dad went for a bike ride. When she came back, she complained of nausea. Despite her nick name, Fish does not drink much therefore, she is highly susceptible to dehydration. I gave her a Gatorade and told her to rest. Thankfully, she is old enough (and was awake enough) to make it to the bathroom when the Gatorade decided to make a return appearance. Oh thank you stomach bug for coming back to visit us once again and AGAIN via A-Man on Monday Morning during his bus ride to work!

Here is it Tuesday, and everyone is back on their feet. My head is only mildly clogged and I am left with the debris left over from a week of ignoring life.

There is much to write about, but little time and the cold medicine is impacting my ability to thread thoughts together.

There’s always tomorrow!

I

March 21, 2010 · Leave a comment ·

I read this article today on Boston.com about the how the airports in Providence and Manchester are suffering since Southwest and other low-cost carriers have come to Boston’s Logan Airport. The article says price is the main determinant when people consider flying out Logan versus one of the regional airports. I disagree.

I Love Manchester Boston Regional Airport, a.k.a MHT and given airfares that are even close to each other, I’ll pick MHT even if it is higher.

The airport itself is right off the highway and parking is easily accessible. If I want to keep my car out of the elements, parking is $17 per day for the garage. If I’m feeling thrifty (and usually I am) the outside lots are $10 per day (compare that to Logan’s $24 per day garage or open lot). Shuttle service to the terminals is frequent and the drivers are usually friendly. Plus I typically have no trouble finding a spot close to a shuttle stop.

If I’m traveling with my kids I especially prefer flying from MHT. Manchester is significantly smaller than Logan and while I don’t want to insinuate in any way that the security is lax, it is just a difference vibe. I think because the volume of travelers is lower, the pace is just a little less frenetic allowing the staff time to smile and interact with passengers. They take the task at hand is no less seriously, but the pace even on a busy day is just a smidge more relaxed and to me that makes all the difference in the world.

The terminals at Manchester are also newer. They are airier and easily incorporate plants and skylights and they were designed with security in mind. Most of Logan’s terminals were built when everyone could just walk down the concourse and wait at the gate boarding pass or not. Thus, they’ve had to retro fit to squeeze a lot of checkpoints into a minimal amount of space. The compression of many bodies in a small space contributes to the tension in the air at Logan.

As with any regional airport, the downside is the lack of direct flights. If you are flying out of Manchester, chances are very good, you are going to have to change planes before you arrive at your final destination. And, I don’t know about you, but it drives me NUTS to fly West to Detroit to get from Manchester to Charlotte, NC but, that is the trade of you make.

The Boston.com touts lower fares as the main reason most people choose to fly out of Logan. To my way of thinking there has to be a SIGNIFICANT fare difference for me to trek to Logan. In my experience, flights to many locations have been between $15 and $100 more expensive out of Manchester. When you factor in the additional expense of parking at Logan or the cost of a round trip bus ticket, from Concord to Logan, I have found the cost difference drops to closer to $10-$20 per ticket. Factor in the additional hassle of getting to and negotiating Logan, and thanks, I’ll fly out of Manchester.

I’m not saying I NEVER fly out of Logan. For example, last June, I flew solo with both kids out of Logan to Charlotte. It was close half the price per ticket to fly direct from Boston to Charlotte, but, that is definitely the exception, not the rule.

Some quick stats about Manchester Boston Regional Airport (via http://www.flymanchester.com/)

MHT employs 1,900 people on the airport property with an annual payroll of $75.8 million and 1,920 employees of property (businesses related to airport activity) with a payroll of $77.1 million.
MHT is served by 6 airlines including, Air Canada, Continental, Delta, Southwest, US Airways and United, and has launched a grass roots campaign to bring Jet Blue Airways to Manchester. http://www.flymanchester.com/about/news.php (third release down on the list).
19 cities are served by direct flights, with endless possibilities after that. Direct flight cities go as far west as Las Vegas as far South as Fort Lauderdale and as far North as Toronto Canada.
The airport’s best travel year ever was 2005 when more than 4 million travels were served. 2008 (the last year for which statistics are available), was the lowest travel year in 5 years with just over 3,700,000 travelers.
Sometime in 2006, MHT launched a pilot program to offer shuttle service between the airport, Northern Massachusetts and Boston. By 2008, the program was servicing between 500 and 900 passengers a week and the service was taken over by Flightline, Inc. http://www.flightlineinc.com/
You can follow Manchester Boston Regional Airport on Twitter

I wanted to snap some pictures on a recent trip, but I thought I’d most likely give some TSA person fits, so go visit their web site www.flymanchester.com for great views.

Town Meeting

March 17, 2010 · 2 Comments ·

Another sure sign of spring is Town Meeting season.

Town Meeting Supplies: Annual Report, note paper, knitting and a water bottle, knitting to pass the time, the electoriate — Town Meeting Supplies, Passing the time, the electorate

Town Meeting is the epitome of citizen government. One person, one vote. One vote on issues that directly impact my day to day way of life. One vote on issues that are right in my backyard (sometimes literally).

When I moved here, citizen government was something I read about in my high school AP American History class. I grew up Levittown, Pennsylvania, where local government was managed at the township level. Honestly, I have no recollection of local government at all. I moved to Boston, a big city with a Mayor and City Councilors. I voted, but still felt very removed from the process.

Our town is governed a Board of Selectmen and legislated by a traditional town meeting. Warrant articles are proposed (most frequently by the selectmen, but I’ve seen a few drafted by regular citizens too). Some are voted on during the annual elections (for town officers). Most are discussed and voted on at Town Meeting, held on a Saturday in March. One of the warrant articles is always dedicated to raising and appropriating the sum of $X million dollars to run the town, a.k.a, The Budget. Other articles have been about buying police cars, maintaining roads, or constructing buildings just to name a few. The Budget is always second to last on the agenda and is frequently cause for the most discussion.

I can honestly say I enjoy town meeting. The back and forth discussion is sometimes comical, sometimes frustrating, sometimes long winded, but at the behest of the meeting moderator (an elected official), it is always polite. It is worth noting that polite discussion doesn’t preclude heated discussion. I’ve seen red faces and teary eyes as people discuss spending they find outrageous or cuts that go too far.

Is it exciting? Nah. I bring my knitting and a water bottle. The Boy Scouts sell, hot dogs, and pastries. The Girl Scouts sell cookies. The folding chairs or bleachers are less than comfy, but in my mind it is a small sacrifice for having a say in how my hard earned tax dollars are spent.

I do find it disconcerting, that I am frequently one of the youngest faces in the gym and let’s face it folks, at 41, I’m not a babe in the woods, but by Town Meeting standards, I’m a youngin’. People my age in this town typically have kids, frequently, both parents work and Saturdays are devoted to items on the to-do list or kids extra-cirricular activities. I get it. We’re all busy, but this matters.

As Josephine Citizen, I feel I have no direct impact on what happens in Washington, D.C. or even Concord. Sure, I can pick up the phone or fire off an email to my elected officials, but I am one of thousands or hundreds of thousands of voices. My input is collected, aggregated, analyzed and weighed against many other factors. But, I can (and do) have a say in what happens in my own backyard.

This year, I brought my 9 year old. I warned her it would be boring, but I want her to understand that life isn’t always exciting and sometimes you just have to slog through the important stuff. She too brought her water bottle and knitting and I also had her bring the Town Meeting Scavenger Hunt from the Concord Monitor to help pass the time.

Of course, this year, thanks to the hard work of the selectmen, we were in and out in an hour. The drama was minimal but it was a good introduction to the democratic process. I fully intend to keep bringing her and as soon as my 5 year old can sit relatively still, he’ll come too. I hope they’ll gain an understanding of what it really takes to be an active citizen.

How is your local government run? Do you feel like you have a voice?

St. Patty’s Day Pinwheels

March 14, 2010 · 1 Comment ·

A pinwheel sugar cookie where a layer of green sugar cookie dough is placed on top of a layer of regular sugar cookie dough, then rolled and sliced. — Mmmmmm Cooooookies!

I made sugar cookies today. I found this recipe on Allrecipes.com around Christmastime and the title is true, they are THE best sugar cookies ever.

Today I tinted half the dough green in honor of St. Patty’s Day. Then, I layered the green dough on top of regular dough to make pinwheel cookies.

Erin Go Bragh!

Rosie, the Roomba

March 11, 2010 · Leave a comment ·

I HATE to clean. It is a rare bird who likes to clean, but most people tolerate it and actually make an effort to do it regularly. Many people are bothered by dust bunnies, or sand crunching under foot. Me? I was born with the innate ability to completely ignore filth. It is only when the dust bunnies stand up and growl that I am moved to action.

A picture of my really dirty rug — I can't believe I'm showing you this.

Stop dialing the Health department, I’m not THAT bad, but I really don’t like to clean.

iRobot was a sponsor of Blissdom ‘10 so last month, I had the chance to see a Roomba in action. I’ve heard of Roomba before and I’ll be honest, I didn’t really think it worked. I don’t know why I thought that. It’s not like I’d heard people complain about their Roombas, it just struck me as a gadget, one that was too good to be true. You have to understand, we are a family of 4 blondes, plus a cat and until very recently a long a haired collie. It’s a contest to see who sheds more, us or the pets. My couches are the color of faded jeans and young and naive, I thought dark blue area rugs with plaid borders would look make my decore look like jeans and a flannel shirt. They weren’t on the floor 5 minutes when I recognized I had doomed myself to daily vaccuuming or grayish rugs. Guess which one won?

The ladies at the iRobot Booth told me there was a Roomba just for me the Roomba 562 Pet Series

I told A-man about my encounter with Roomba and the about the 20% discount iRobot was offering to Blissdom attendees. I planned to look online for consumer feedback, then honesstly, I got lost in the post conference catch-up and forgot all about it.

He did not.

About 10 days later, Scott, my UPS guy brought me a box from iRobot and made me promise to tell him how I liked it.

I LOVE THE ROOMBA!!

Let me say that again, I LOVE THE ROOMBA.

I named her Rosie.

I am a believer. My blue rugs? They look blue, not gray. We live on a dirt road and our driveway is also dirt. Take shoes off or leave them on, it really doesn’t matter, there is dirt all through the house. Rosie takes care of it. When the she encounters dirt, a blue light comes on and she spins in circles until she has collected the offending substance. Let’s just say Rosie’s blue light is almost always on in my house.

I shouldn’t tell you this, but she spent at least an hour just under our bed the first time she cleaned our room. That’s the cat’s domain. I guess it had been awhile since I’d gotten under there!

You simply set Rosie on the floor and press the button that says CLEAN and leave her to her duties. She even does a little cheer before she gets started. Girlfriend likes her job! Depending on the size of the room and the level of dirt, she may stop and take a break and ask you to empty her dust collection bin and clean her brushes. In our house that takes a little work (remember all that hair?), but Rosie came with tools that make cleaning her brushes quick and easy. Return the brushes to their home, press clean and Rosie is off and running.

She even leaves vaccuum lines!!

You can schedule when she runs (so you could do it while you are out) and she comes with two virtual walls, so you can limit her focus to a specific space. When all is said and done, she returns to her base to recharge issuing another little cheer. I guess like any busy woman, she’s happy to collapse into bed at the end of the a productive day.

She’s quieter than my canister vacuum, but she is a little loud for constant background noise if say, you were on the phone. Rosie the Roomba is round, so corners aren’t her strength, but she gets darned close. She even fits under the toe kicks under my kitchen cabinets. She also doesn’t do stairs, but she’ll collect the pile of of dirt, I push to the bottom using a Swifter. Having Rosie doesn’t completely eliminate the need for a competent human to operate a full sized vacuum once in a while, but it sure does extend the time between uses of said vacuum.

It’s a gadget, yes, but it is a gadget that works! Oh, and don’t discount the entertainment factor.

iRobot was a sponsor of Blissdom ‘10 a fantastic blogging conference I attended last month. I am writing this post to share with you my opinions, and to thank iRobot for their sponsorship of such an awesome event. As a recovering event planner, I understand the importance and value of sponsors to an event’s success. That said. Everything stated here is my own personal opinion and was in no way requested or influenced by iRobot.

Finding our Voice

March 11, 2010 · Leave a comment ·

My mother grew up in Massachusetts, so as a kid New England was just a place to visit family. I hadn’t planned on leaving the mid-Atlantic. I was going to go to Penn State, but a spring time visit to Boston College, put a quick end to that plan. I can’t explain it, I just felt so at home. I moved to New England in the fall of 1986 and I’ve lived here ever since. (I don’t count the one hellacious two and a half month stint back in Pennsylvania immediately after college when I was desperately trying to land a job so I could move back “home”.)

There really is something special about living here. Obviously others have strong feelings for their home regions too. Take for example Tim McGraw’s song Souther Voice. Clearly that man had deep Southern roots.

But what about us New Englanders? Has anyone ever written a song about the people, places and symbols that make this region so amazing?

A quick search of iTunes shows, Please Come to Boston by Dave Loggins, Weekend in New England by Barry Manilow, Whoever’s In New England by Reba McIntyre, and an obscure Steely Dan song call The Boston Rag. Eh, nothing we can call an anthem to New England life.

There is so much to love about New England and there are many of us who are clearly passionate about where we choose to live. Thanks to Karen Kiley, the new permanent co-host of the WOKQ Morning Waking Crew, we now have an anthem we can we can get behind. Based on McGraw’s Souther Voice, it highlight’s some of what makes New England a great place to live. For copyright reasons, they cannot post an audio version, but the lyrics are available.

They play it frequently during the morning show, so tune mornings between 5am and 9am in and maybe you’ll catch a listen for yourself.

What songs remind you of New England?

Pierced Ears

March 9, 2010 · Leave a comment ·

I was around 12 when I got my ears pierced. My mom wasn’t ready for this grown up step, but I was fortunate to have an aunt and older cousin go to bat for me.

My daughter has a similar advocate in Auntie. I’m an only child, and while I have chosen close friends that my kids call Aunt, I have no biological siblings. My husband has a sister who lives nearby and since my daughter was 7 she’s be pushing to take Fish to get her ears pierced. Her Dad and I both said no. Fish needed to be responsible for mandatory personal hygiene (i.e. brushing her teeth and her hair) before she could take on any additional challenges.

She has mastered those responsibilties and more so we decided that the time had come. I emailed Auntie after Thanksgiving and let her know she could take Fish to get her ears peirced for Christmas. She was psyched.

We celebrated Christmas Eve at Aunties house. Here’s a revelation of the gift.

If the mall was open Christmas Day, Fish would have had her Aunt there. As it was, she had to wait TWO whole days.

Auntie came and got her and off they went. I wasn’t invited and despite pangs of emotion, I was ok with that. I really believe that kids need all kinds of influences in their lives. My Sister-in-law and I have different parenting philosophies, but she has always been respectful of my rules and I think her perspective makes me a better parent. Besides, she spoils my kids rotten (think ice cream for breakfast).

Not 20 minutes later, the phone rang. Auntie had been honest and said she was an Aunt, not a mom and the ear piercing place required parental permission. I’d sent a note saying I approved, but it wasn’t enough, my presence was required. SQUEE!

When I got to the mall, I offered to sign the form and leave, if that was what Fish wanted, but she was quick to say I could stay.

I have to say as happy as I was to bear witness to this rite of passage in my daughter’s life, there are just too many freaking lawyers in this world. I had to sign my name three times to carbonless form, filled to the margins with teeny tiny type (on both sides).

I would have really preferred this stay between Fish and Auntie, but I was glad to be there. Fish was awesome. She picked silver Daisies with a blue stone in the middle and despite a good case of nerves, she never screamed or cried. Auntie helped her stay relaxed by cracking jokes and snapping pictures. The tech was decent and in two flashes, the deed was done. She was so excited.

She’s done a great job keeping her lobes clean and we’ve even been able to change the earrings a few times. *sigh* She is growing up.

Live Fearless Lee

Or at least that's what I tell myself