Author: Lee Laughlin

Thanks NHMS

May 4, 2010 · Leave a comment ·

New Hampshire Motor Speedway gets my vote for the best community outreach program! Once a year, they open the track to locals for the Kohl’s Safe Kids 500. Kids and their parents are invited to bike, scooter or skate around the 1 mile oval track.

This is the third year we’ve gone and it has become a much anticipated family tradition. My son especially enjoys this opportunity. As soon as the flyer comes home from school he memorizes the date. Anytime any day NEAR the date of “The Race” is mentioned, he reminds us solemnly that “The Race” is coming up. As if we could possibly forget or worse double book for that night. Yesterday he wore a frown of concern for most of the afternoon as the skies were cloudy and there were sporadic showers. I had heard a detailed forecast earlier in the day that predicted the skies would be clear by the time we were to leave, but even I kept my fingers crossed.

I’m not a NASCAR fan. I’m not a hater, it’s just that cars driving around in a circle at ridiculous rates of speed does nothing for me. That said, even I get giddy as we drive on to the infield.

This is my son’s first year on a two wheeled bike. The first year, he had just mastered the tricycle and we chuckled as his chunky little legs struggled to make it around one time while he told us he was “faster than fast” and “quicker than quick” just like his hero Lightening McQueen. Last year he was still on the tricycle, but managed almost two and a half laps before running out of steam. This year on his new to him two wheeler, he was feelin’ the need for speed. On his second lap, he crashed and burned just after turn two, but after a Band Aid and a few kisses our racing pro was back tearing up the black top.

All in all, it was a great night, and one of us, is already counting the days until next year. Thanks NHMS!

Kids and Funerals

May 3, 2010 · Leave a comment ·

How do you explain death to a child? How do you help them come to understand the diversity of human reactions to death, dying and grief? At ten, Fish is starting to experience death. One of her grandfather’s passed almost two years ago, and this winter, we lost our beloved dog Daisy. Death is natural and it happens to all of us, so I think as a parent, it is part of my job description to teach my kids how to manage death and grief. Still those aren’t easy lessons to teach.

We have an opportunity at hand. A member of my husband’s extended family passed away last week. The wake and funeral are this week and we have decided to take Fish to both events. She knew the woman, but they weren’t close. To my way of thinking this is a good way of introducing her to the rituals and diverse reactions to death in a way where she can be a slightly detached observer rather than an emotionally overwhelmed participant (Dennis used to say funerals are for the living).

Fish is fortunate to be loved and cared for by many people who are a generation a head of me (how’s THAT for diplomatic). Both of my parents are still alive as are Aunts and Uncles to whom we are close. A-Man’s Mom and her husband live right next door. The upside is that Fish has access to lots of love and benefits from their collective wisdom in her life regularly, the downside is she’s got a lot of funerals in her future.

I hope we are doing the right thing by exposing her this early. My thinking and I know this sounds morose, is that in all likelyhood, the next death we encounter will be someone much closer to us. She’s the kind of kid who does better when she knows what to expect. I don’t feel there is anything to be gained from shielding her from death. My hope is to give her the knowledge she needs to be as comfortable as possible. Death is never easy, but I hope by introducing her to the process and expectations now, She will be better prepared when she is truly overwhelmed with grief.

I hope this doesn’t sound at all disrespectful. I need to be clear, that we would be going to the wake and the funeral anyway and that there will be other children (her cousins) there. I also want to say that the deceased was a teacher, so I’m thinking she’d understand 🙂

How were you introduced to death, funerals and grief?

UPDATE: The wake was Tuesday and the funeral was yesterday. Fish was fine. A little bored at times, but she took the experience in stride. As far as funerals go, this wasn’t one of the more emotional ones I’ve been too. There were tears and there was most definitely sadness, but there was also recognition of a life well lived.

I’m glad she went. I think we made the right decision. WHEW!

Time out

May 3, 2010 · Leave a comment ·

This weeked brought the first of May and 80 degree temperatures. We celebrated by heading North. My mother-in-law has a camp in the Lakes Region. She very generously makes it available for family to use. The Lake as we refer to it is by far, one of my favorite places on earth. There is a TV, but we rarely turn it on. There is Internet access, but that just means my husband can really vacation there because if a client desperately needs him, he can help without having to leave.

There’s a lake for enjoying, and activities for partaking, or . . . not. There are playgrounds for the kids and other kids for the kids. There is a well posted and community enforced speed limit of 10 miles an hour. There is excellent pizza and fabulous ice cream within reasonable driving distance.

By far, my favorite feature is this.

A firepit, encircled with comfortable chairs. There is usually cooler with cold beverages close by. After the kids go to bed, we sit and swap stories, or we don’t talk at all. We just sit and watch the flames dance. It is my definition of relaxation.

Yes, there are meals to be prepared, and cleaning to be done. but less of both. The space is smaller, the pace slower, life, simpler.

This weekend we made the first of what will be many trips in the summer of 2010 and it was a much needed break for all of us.

Ahhhhhhh

Siblings

April 22, 2010 · 1 Comment ·

Allow me to set the scene. It is the end of the day. I’ve spent the afternoon at swimming lessons and grocery shopping with Mim and have just picked up Fish from Girl Scouts. She’s giggly with her friend while we walk to the car. As we get in the car, Mim asks Fish if her friend has an younger brother. “No, she has an annoying younger sister like you.” I call foul on that comment. Once we buckle up, she’s moody and stares out the window.

“Ok, what’s up?” I ask at home as we get out of the car. I’ve sent Mim into the house in an effort to grab a minute of one on one time.

“It’s HIM she nods her head towards the house. He’s just so . . . embarrassing! He acts so cool and he’s not! He embarrasses me in front of my friends. I want the old Mim back.”

I’m immediately defensive. “Oh” I say, walking away. “I thought something was really wrong.” Oh yeah, there’s my nomination for the mother of the year award.

I’ve heard this is standard faire between siblings, but I have no personal experience in this area. Here in, lies the rub. I was an only child. I would have liked to have had a sibling but for a variety of reasons, it wasn’t meant to be. When A-man and I talked about having kids, I was clear, that I wanted kids but that I would entertain the idea of not having kids. However, if there was one, there would be two. I didn’t want to raise another only child. It was a bit of a lonely childhood and frankly a royal pain in the a$$ in adulthood. I have PCOS, so we had to work to have one. We tried unsuccessfully for a year an a half to have a second. Ultimately, I resigned myself to raising an only and I moved on with other life plans. Six weeks later, I was pregnant with my Mim (yes, I am one of THOSE annoying fertility stories).

They are four years and two months apart and all in all, they get a long very well. At times the age difference is a challenge, but mostly it works. A-man and I make a conscious effort to have quality time with both kids alone and together. Fish generally is an awesome big sister. She looks out for him and he worships the ground she walks on. I also try to be sure she has alone time with her friends.

After I collected my thoughts, I went to talk to her. I know her brother can be frustrating. That child frequently stomps on my last nerve. I wholeheartedly agree he can be embarrassing. Fortunately, he’s young enough that the expressions and attitudes he regurgitates from his favorite video game (Cars) are still considered cute. He can be loud and bossy and short tempered. But, he’s her brother and he’s not going away.

So, dear readers, what advice do you have for me? I hope that overall, they will continue to get along, but I suspect as we meander through the teen years this is going to be minefield we revisit regularly. To some extent I want to validate her feelings, but lets face it, he’s a little brother. From what I gather, it is his JOB to embarrass her.

Suggestions? Cautionary tales? Anecdotes I can use to illustrate that she’s not alone in this? HELP!!

Photo credit: Target Portrait Studios. FWIW, they do an awesome job!

Writers’ Day 2010

April 20, 2010 · Leave a comment ·

Keynote Nicholson Baker, Becky Rule, Carla Gericke, Susan Nye

This past weekend, I attended Writer’s Day 2010. Writer’s Day is a one day conference, presented by The New Hampshire Writers’ Project, that brings together more than 200 members of New Hampshire’s writing community for a day of learning and networking.

The day is a mix of general and break out sessions. This year’s keynote speaker was Nicholson Baker, (above far left) an award-winning author of fiction and non-fiction who currently resides in Maine. There were breakout sessions that focused on creativity, selling your work, point of view, word choice, and children’s books, just to name a few. There were plenty of opportunities for networking as well as time for authors to pitch work to agents and editors.

The day ended with Literary Idol, where contestants had three minutes to present a story for a live audience (above far right Susan Nye presents). All were offered immediate feedback from a panel of esteemed judges that included James Patrick Kelly, Joni B. Cole and Jim Collins. The session was moderated by the fabulous New Hampshire story teller Becky Rule (above second from left and below right). Those who went over the three minute time frame were sprayed with water by the armed and dangerous Carla Gericke (above second from right).

The Judges Vote for a Literary Idol contestant

Props to NHWP Executive Director Kathy Boss and Program Director Carla Gericke and everyone who worked so hard to make Writers’ day a success. As a recovering event planner, I understand how much effort goes into executing a such a successful event. I also want to thank the sponsors who stepped up to support New Hampshires writers. Without organizations like Delta Dental, Lincoln Financial, New England College, Riverstone Resources, Southern New Hampshire University and Whitebridge Farm Productions delivering such a high caliber event just wouldn’t be possible.

Personally, I learned some, I networked some and I laughed a lot. I also had an opportunity in one workshop to briefly address the issue of albinism and the evil character that in itself was almost worth the price of admission. The day was also an opportunity for me to reaffirm my commitment to writing. My time at the keyboard is incredibly scares these days and promises continue that way until at least the fall, yet, I am clear, that I want to write. I have words in me that need to get out and I am so very comfortable with those who are similarly afflicted.

The New Hampshire Writers’ project offers many opportunities for writers to gather an learn through out the year. For more details or to become a member visit it their web site http://www.nhwritersproject.org/

Crack Pie

April 15, 2010 · Leave a comment ·

Oh, my!

I have a sweet tooth (those who know me well are laughing at that one). I also love to bake sweet treats for any gathering. When I saw the recipe for Crack Pie^TM in a LA Times article syndicated in my local paper, my response bordered on Pavlovian.

Crack Pie, so named because it is so addictive, is a creation of MomoFuko, a bakery and milk bar in Manhattan. I am not anywhere near hip enough to live in Manhattan nor, am I rich enough (the pies retail for $44). and I have no idea what a milk bar is, but oh, the Crack Pie.

I made it for Easter and it was as good as promised. The crust is my kind of crust, not finicky, just hearty, a mix of oatmeal, brown sugar, butter, salt, more butter and more brown sugar. The filling, a mix of sugar, eggs, heavy cream vanilla and butter is nothing short of sinful. It is gooey and rich and *sigh*. Ahem, oh, wait, sorry, where was I? Making Crack Pie yes. I only had nine inch pie plates, so my filling was a little thicker and I think I liked it that way.

It is a very rich creation, so small slices suffice even for this sugar addict. Unlike the author of the LA Times article, I agree with the creator, Christina Tosi, Crack Pie is better cooled.

I will make this recipe again, but I think next time, I might try putting the crust in mini-cupcake tins and make little tarts. One tart might be enough to appreciate the tastes, but one will never be enough to satisfy the craving.

I intended to take pictures, but the pie disappeared before I was able to wipe the grease off my fingers to get my camera.

Chandler’s Cakes and Candy Supplies and a Birthday to Remember

April 14, 2010 · 1 Comment ·

Kids birthday parties. Ugh, they can be such a minefield. I want to do things that are memorable, but not ridiculously costly. Fun is the primary focus as opposed to extravagance. In my daughter’s case, the party also needs to have a creative component.

This year, we were scratching our heads trying to think of something a little out of the ordinary but also budget friendly. Last year, we took a trip to American Girl Place in Natick, Massachusetts. We had a lovely time, but due to the expense, my daughter was limited to bringing one friend. This year, she wanted to include more of her friends so we had to come up with an activity that had a lower per attendee cost. My Mother-in-law found the perfect solution. Cake decorating with Sue Chandler of Chandler’s Cakes and Candy Supplies in Concord.

Sue and I coordinated ahead of time, for the type of cake (chocolate) and preferred colors (blues, or greens) and a theme (music). On the appointed day, I borrowed my mother-in-law’s car and picked up a gaggle of giggly girls from school and headed for Concord. I would have preferred a weekend, but when I called in March, all the Saturdays in April were booked.

When we arrived, there was a cake waiting for each girl to personalize along with a beautiful bouquet of blue balloons. Each girl had 3 pastry bags of buttercream frosting, one each of pink, purple and teal. They also had a some musical notes made out of sugar.

After a quick snack (I brought, some healthy snacks, along with juice boxes and bottles of water), Sue set about the business at hand. She demonstrated techniques and encouraged the girls to be creative. She was engaging and complimentary and the girls ate it up (no pun intended). They experimented with spray on food coloring, they used cookie cutters to outline an fill shapes, they made borders and polk-a-dots, and a added a handful of sprinkles for the finishing touch.

When each girl’s cake was completed and boxed (what an awesome party favor!), we gathered around to sing Happy Birthday and enjoy the cake that Sue decorated. Then it was time for presents and before we knew it goodbyes.

From a parent perspective, I don’t think we’ve ever had an easier kids party. The girls had a great time and we didn’t break the bank (total cost for 7 girls was just over $125). Working with Sue was a breeze, I didn’t have to clean up and each girl went home with a favor that wouldn’t collect dust in the toy box.

From a kids perspective all the girls had a blast. When asked if she would recommend it for other kids my daughter gave an enthusiastic YES!. She wants to go back next year and try the candy making class.

Details:

Chandler’s Cakes and Candy Supplies

7 Perley Street

Concord, NH 03301

603 223-0393

Chandler’s has a full compliment of cake pans and decorating supplies as well as flavorings, candy melts and molds for candy. You can event rent a pan! Perfect for making that character cake that is a must have this year and a has been by next year.

Sue also teachers cake decorating and candy making classes. For more information, schedules and pricing, visit her web site at http://www.chandlerscakeandcandy.com/. To schedule your party call 603-223-0393 and tell her I set you!

Disclaimer: I was not compensated in any way for this blog post. This is my personal experience with wonderful New Hampshire small business.

That Kiss

April 12, 2010 · Leave a comment ·

I save The Good Wife to watch on nights when my husband (more of a Two and a Half Men kind of guy) isn’t around. He was out a lot last week, so I played catch up with the DVR. I’m a little late with this, but, DID YOU SEE THAT KISS?!

I knew it was coming. CBS previewed it endlessly (see above) but OH, MY! Alisha Florrick (Julianna Margulies) and Will Gardener (Josh Charles) locked lips on an episode earlier this month. I don’t even want to be that crass when describing the moment. It was really quite tender and passionate. Alisha rests her hand on Will’s shoulder to comfort him. Their eyes lock and the tensions that have been building between them overwhelm Will. He touches her cheek and leans in, she meets him. It’s not sloppy, there’s no tongue, but there is an energy. My description couldn’t begin to do the scene justice. It is well written and acted. It was just a kiss, but with that kiss, everything changed.

I don’t have a ton of experience with first kisses. I’ve had a few in my life, but my most memorable first kiss was with A-Man for the energy behind it and the impact it had on my life. We were acquaintances who, when the timing was finally right, became so much more. When he kissed me, there was magic in the air. The next day, I would leave a voice mail for a friend telling her I’d met the man I was going to marry. This is real life, and while there were, challenges, we did walk down the aisle and have built a life together that Hollywood would call mundane (for the record I’m O.K. that we bore Hollywood).

The writers of The Good Wife, have yet to reveal what is next for Will and Alisha, but this is a TV drama, so no doubt the characters will face triple the complications that we did. Still, that kiss changed everything.

Was there every a kiss that changed your life?

http://www.cbs.com/primetime/the_good_wife/photos/photos.php?v=40896&s=4&p=1

The First Weekend in April

April 5, 2010 · 1 Comment ·

BUSY! BUSY! BUSY!

Friday was Fish’s tenth birthday. So, there was some of this.

Grammy & Grandpa gave her a “Just Like You” doll from American Girl and we thought she was going to cry.

The arrival of her new doll encouraged her brother to get his doll, named Sonic. (This is an improvement from the doll’s original name, Knuckles. Don’t ask, we don’t know).

Saturday brought gorgeous weather that just begged to be enjoyed, so after we completed a few chores, we headed for the local skate park so Mim could get back on his big bike and Fish could try her new skate board. I tried it too 😦

Sunday of course was Easter and the whole family gathered at Grammy’s house. There were deviled eggs, a ham, an egg hunt, a bunny cake and crack pie (a dessert that will have a blog post unto itself in the near future).

We came home and while the grown ups settled into a food coma, Fish taught herself how to ollie.

A Sunday in New Hampshire

April 5, 2010 · Leave a comment ·

Spring comes slow to New Hampshire. We have to make due with slowly rising temperatures, and the gradual return of the birds to tide us over until nature rewards our patience with a burst of green long after our Southern neighbors have started regularly cutting their lawns. However, the sluggish awakening does not, in any way, diminish the impact of spring on our winter-weary (and this year waterlogged) spirits.

This weekend’s unusually warm weather begged to be enjoyed. Windows were opened, short sleeves donned and we event broke out the sunscreen. On Sunday morning, I stole a few minutes for a peaceful, quiet walk near my house. I started with my iPod cranked but quickly ditched the ear buds to enjoy the sounds of the outdoors, my footsteps on the dirt road, a hand full of birds and the neighbor’s dog.

A glorious day indeed.

Note, I shot this video on my iPhone. Lesson learned, turn it sideways for the correct aspect ratio.

What are your spring time rituals?

Live Fearless Lee

Or at least that's what I tell myself